I am 23 years old. I have a good job but my personal and social life is going to shit. Losing friends and hard to gave friends. I ended up anti-social and have a hard time meeting new people and socializing. Having a good job and good pay isn't everything in my life. Being lonely is a bitch and a half.
I'm always depressed. Depressed either about deceased loved ones, not getting any pussy, the future, or nothing at all.I know I'm a waste of space. I really wish I was courageous enough to kill myself. I don't want to be a virgin loser who leeches off their parents their entire life anymore. The alternative to suicide is actually making an effort, but so far I haven't been able to do that. I've tried to get motivated to do anything productive and nothing comes of it. The only hope I have is that continuing to leech without regard for my physical health will do me in sometime around 30 (earlier is always better). There is no point in working toward a forever bleak future.
I read the chapters, I study the homework and practice quizzes and I fail the quiz. I studied in advance, for more hours than I should, and I still failed the quiz. Accountants think my professor is a great guy, while I think he's a dick. I'm in good standing in the class, I participate, ask for help, but I have this feeling that I'm going to fail. I want to be an Accountant terribly, but my faith and hope are being clearly challenged.
there is something right in me so why the people think. its wrong and the people have no care about my ideas
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Everything is wrong with me. And on top of all that, I met a girl and we talk over text, but I guess her and her friends just teased me and joked with me. She's probably someone totally different than the pictures. I should've known. Who was I to ever think I could get lucky? What a dumb ass...I should just accept the fact that my life will be horrible forever and nothing good will happen. It's hard to accept, but I will eventually have to.
I'm failing every class I'm taking currently, and I can never seem to make myself better. I just go through a roller coaster of emotions where one moment I'm too happy to care about school and the next I'm too depressed to function and want nothing more than a peaceful death. I can't DO anything. Anything at all. It's impossible for me to succeed. Help
Thursday, October 30 2014
I'm officially a college drop out , no life, no Job please help me God. I'm a public failure everybody is watching my next move they wonder how I'm gonna get out of this mess if ever but my faith in You God gave me a bit of hope to make drastic changes and decisions concerning my life please don't turn your back on me hear my agony and remember me o God. I nead means to make bread please help God. I feel everybody wants me to be what they are and I believe I'm different but only you God know my course in life so please my Lord all my agony is here please remember me. I'm mocked for your name, I fight the world please accept me in your Kingdom, my life... Please come to my defence I admit I'm a struggling sinner and I'm not perfect but please Lord don't leave me a mockery, I pray my Lord in the name of Jesus. Please come to my rescue
i got my penis caught on a ceiling fan twice yesterday, my spoon is too big, i rammed a pinecone up my urethra and it felt good.pleas ehlp
Am a Christian and i think i have failed in my relationship with Christ. i try by all means to do right, but i keep on sinning and i just can't stand myself anymore. at first it was masterbation which i began when i was 14yrs old and that sinful habit has continued upto the age of 23. worse off, just this year, i have paid 6 hookers to have sex with me. i did use condoms at every encounter, but whats eating me bad is losing my salvation and drifting away from God's presence. whats wrong with me? aww! Christ Jesus went through too much for all our sins, yet, i still struggle with sin. i hate every bit of what i do and i try to stay holy and righteous, but i keep fighting the same battles with fornication and lust. am tired of this, this has to end.
My parents moved from their home country and gave up everything they had so that I could get a better education. I have just finished my high school exams and I have realized that I am not going to score above 50% and University is out of the question. I have completely failed my parents and failed at life and the worst part is I can't even bring myself to tell them the truth. I am a total and absolute failure.
people think im asian im just tired people are just h8ters i fink people should stop hayting now i have to shove my rope in my pocket comebnt like and follow me on twitter if you crye ever tmes
yesterday our son got taken by a malisious group called Alcateri. Oh wait my sons arm is for sale on amazon what should i do
My names billy. I smack bobbys. This is what like is like in 9018, all the women have died so I get paid to smack mens bobbys while dressed up as cheryl cole with pink hair. Once I locked up a asian originated man a d smacked him with my double ender
I shagged a dead cat and it shat it self so i ate it, it tasted good so i murder cats like a rapid chinky on steroids just to eat their shit.
I have a cow called georgina. Sje was a mighty beast with large black hairy legions where her breasts used to be. She smacked me with her shit ridden hoof. It felt good. I smelt it before I saw it, I knew what it was because I was fond of ut. It was georginas smelly vagina. It slapped me in the gob.
Ringa dinga ringa dinga ahh
My Penis Is Big What Do I Do
My dad had a granny called jorge which was a man witha womens name. She lockes me in a dungeon and proceeded to spank me which her large black penis. It smelt like a rotten fish
I fail at life, I tried to chop my dick off and it felt good, now I am a woman and I love it.
I fail at life. I live in los santos only sex I have ever had was with a cow that I had killed before penetrating it. It was a man too so I had to go bareback up the bumholey
Google is the most retarded search engine on earth and censors everything.Use Tor and the deep web instead.
I know this won't mean much, but man up. Think about it, you're complaining from a computer - of the billions of people on this planet, you're lucky enough to even have one. Quit being a bitch and try and do something hard. Challenge yourself or dissolve into oblivion. You being a little bitch is suicide worthy; prove me wrong.
Am 23 years old now i have tried my best to forward my education but i cannot coz my parents are very poor and there is no job to do inorder to help my self am tired i need help frm u..i belive GOD will help me here ..i dnt want to be poor like my parents
I had an awesome life. I had all the female friends I needed to. Recently I had a threesome with some of the hottest chicks here and since then my life is shattered. One of the girls jumped too hard and my organ is now twisted and uninsertable. I'm deeply depressed and I can't imagine the thought of not having sex anymore or having kids for that matter. My life jaa no goal!
why is spamhaus not letting me post my rant?! >:O
Wednesday, October 29 2014
I attempted suicide twice and even failed at that. OD on pills but was found in time and got "saved" by the ambulance, SO close to dying. 2nd time was I hung myself, but dad happened to leave work early that day and cut me down, again, "saved" by paramedics right in time apparently. Now I have a rope scar. Why can't they just let me go? I'm ready to let myself go, but why can't they just let me be free? It's MY life, yet I feel like I'm not in control of it. I can't even end it.Anyway, failing at life and failed at dying. Funny how it all works, maybe I'll live to be 100 because I hate living so much.
I am 25 years old. I have failed in every domain I have ventured. I was doing PhD but failed. I do not know what to do with my life.
I'm dropping out of college because I hate my course. My parents are incredibly angry with me and are full of spite towards me because I am a failure in contrast with my sister who has both a job and degree. My Mother hates me in particular and just shouts at me all the time. I'm just 17 and I wasn't ready for university and I regret doing well academically because if I failed it would have meant that I had more time to prepare for college and I mightn't be such a failure/piece of useless shit.
All of our life's are going to get changed from today we will achieve whatever we wanted and we ll be what we always wanted to be. Note down my words and remember me when u get success .... God bless.
Saturday, October 25 2014
I hate my life and wish i was never born, the only thing that makes me happy are memes.
Hi people, im 30 yrs old and I have no education even though im incredibly intelligent. I worked a management job for 8 years and burned the fuck out. Now I work in a meat packing plant and its not for me. I think that im just lazy but nothing seems to ever work out. I wouldnt kill myself but wouldnt mind being killed. Im married with two step children. My wife is a pill popper that refuses to get clean and the kids father makes over 10000 per month. Meanwhile I struggle for a 800 dollar paycheck. Ive had all my stuff taken and sold and I just let it happen. I can never say no. Im whipped and severly depressed, the kids dad can get them anything they want and it pisses me off. Makes me feel like everything I get into turns rotton and in turn makes me loath everybody around me. My friends dont talk to me anymore, I barely talk to anyone else. Im writing this because you people are depressing and it makes me feel better if only for a moment. I have lots of life left to live but god dammit what the fuck does a person do to combat this. Get divorced and watch my paycheck go to 400. Make 800 per month and live in a tiny bedroom. Maybe I should, maybe I diserve such a thing. Maybe its all my fault. Im not even an ugly dude, Ive had loads of female contact, what the hell happened to me.
Thursday, October 23 2014
Life has had it with me. It feels nothing for me - no sympathy. No one cares for me, even though I feel like the "main character" in this movie of life - I'm not. So why would things work out for me? They shouldn't...exactly. Now I know for sure that I would've been nothing from the start, whether I went down this road or that road. What is life. Why is life.
I'm such a failure, I'm good at absolutely nothing. I just waste resources. I wish i was dead.
Ifailatlife so much. My life has gone down the gutter and i cannot stop it. Whenever i try to improve i fail.. Sometimes i jus want to die peacefully and just be erased from my families memories. I want to be unborn and nonexistential.At night i imagine myself running away from home and just living a reclusive lifestyle near the beautiful sandy beaches of california. An unstoppable tide is making it's way to me and threatens to destroy me.I am 16 years old, a bastard child, no friends, no one backing me for anything. Its so hard to live life under the horrible scrutiny of people who wish nothing but my total collapse of dreams and failure in life. Academics are the only realistic way for me to progress in life and actually make something of myself and yet....... I keep falling short. My mom says im not trying hard enough but i know better. I spend some of my days doing nothing but studying and working but GOD!!! nothing tangible manifests. People in my community hate me so much that they wish me the worst of luck, and that is not any paranoia there it is cold hard fact. I actually overheard them once.Then... There lives a most beautiful girl right next door to me.. Seeing her for the first made me believe that not all was lost. Hah, what a disapointment i must have been because she started spreading rumours of how i mght be gay. Wow. Everyone keeps saying how we should be together but my inability to open up is a hindrance to my emotional devdlopment. Speaking of emotions, i habitually have this inability to show them to people which makes them believe that i am a cold human being. Which i donot agree with.When i was a mere child have never would have thought that i would be in such a pit of existence. I got into smoking weed to make me feel less of a failure but i canot get arond to doing so without feeling the slightest bit depressed. I dont know i really really dont know i how i can hope for anything worth living for, i was always told how much potential i had. But whatever is left of that has turned to pulp and dust.How pathetic my life has become, how lonely how joyless. Suicide is the only logical way of ending my miserable exitence here on earth. God doesnt care about me no does. So why should I?
My step-mother along with my father used to give me hard work,taking lots of time,so I doesn't get time to study...plz someone say what should I do
I masturbated yet again. People shouted outside my house stuff like 'fag' and 'sodomite' but you know what? Life goes on. My mom and dad supported me as always. Why did I masturbate? It sucks.I feel like I failed in life not because the masturbation itself, but because I feel like I'm dissapointing Jesus and those Iraqi martyrs that died for him. If they can struggle for Him, why can't I?As for everybody else, hang on. You'll get there. Your silver lining. Just know that there'll be Someone for you. Eh, you'd probably think I'm a stupid Christian folk anyway.Your Indonesian brother,Michael
I am almost 25 with absolutely no qualifications or direction in life, I just don't know what to do anymore. Everything seems so hopeless.
I feel adult life is nothing. I started my life doing fine as a child, but once I hit 21, life went dim. Nothing tragic or bad happened to me, but I just feel everything is useless and worthless. i even started to think wishing somebody to live long and prosper is a bitter joke.
Seriously, everyone here hasn't failed as much as me. I have a 69 in my pre-AP soc class that my mom forced my sorry ass to take. Now I am staying up at 10:31 just to do this peice of shit called work. All I want god to do is kill me. I dont care how just kill me god.
I should be working right now, but I'm on the website instead :l
I'm ready GOD, you can kill me now. I'm just wasting air.
i'm 17 yr old guy who has interest in nothing...i failed twice in academics..my parents help me but it's of no use to me...i have only 2 true frnds but they are neglecting this issue...i love a girl truly so as she..She keeps on boosting spirits to me but i can't bare them..I just want a painless death..I almost lost faith in God..I didn't want for anyone to pray..this is my first time to be social..that'sit
I read all these sad stories and think of Robin Williams. A man who appeared to have everything in life. A long and successful career with no money issues. Married (albeit three times). Children. Respect of his peers and admired for his talent. A genuine gentle soul in an industry that's breeds phoniness and encourages inflated egos. Owned several beautiful homes and built a thriving production company. Met and befriended many influential and famous people, along the way. Yet, was known to be, in his local neighborhood coffee shop, as a sweet, down to earth, humble kinda-guy. Would always have a moment for a fan and happy to take a photo. Everything in his life was the complete opposite of failure. And more importantly-he was a really nice human being too.So why...why, did he end this incredible life? His life represents all the ingredients that most people here, say they need, to not feel like a failure? Would you define Robin as a failure?Then, what matters more? All that he had in life or how he felt about his life? We admire all that he had. But in end he didn’t. At least, not enough last August. We will never know for sure. Lesson learned? You can have all the trappings of a wildly successful life and still it doesn’t really count in the bitter end. Blow off your feelings of failure. You’re not perfect. It’s not what you have but what you give to the world that counts. The world wants you-that's why your here. Start giving.
i died for your sins fools. but im dead. alive in peoples hearts tho.
I watched the entire second season of Young Justice when I should have been working. Someone shoot me.
Well, I'm a 51 year failure. No money, no girlfriend, never kissed a girl, no job, live with my mom, high school drop out, no car, and no life. I'm 5'1 and 421 pounds. All I do is play a computer game and gain weight. I haves diabetes. I'll never get a girlfriend.. Nothing. I'm a sorry excuse for a human and I'm ugly. My room tiny, no windows, a computer and a bed that can't fit me. I never leave this room and my mom brings me McDonald's every day. I'm a failure. Thanks for reading, pray for me. Well, I'm off to enjoy my dumb life.
I got drunk and was jumped by two black male individuals .They tried to get my wallet and phone but that dident happen .Instead they jacked my awsome bmx bike that I built.So yea i should of known better to be drunk riding at night in that nieghborhood by myself.....It was a FAIL
I trump all failers here, i could write down my story and you wouldn't believe how much i have failed. It's beyond ridiculous combined with a portion of extreme bad luck. You name it, and I failed at it. It's pathetic. I hate myself. There should be an opt-out option for people like me.
i'm disappointed in myself.... neverending story of sadness it appears to be
Wednesday, October 22 2014
I hate my life. I'm 23 dropped out of college because I suck and now I have to pay my college like 4000 dollars and I have no money no job no life a lot of bad things happen to me. I thought about suicide but am too much of a coward to do it. It's also against my religion. Wat really kills me everyday is how I let my parents down, my little brother and two sisters. They gave up on me. And I also think my brother and two sisters gonna be losers like me so that just gonna kill my parents. Idk as a teenager I had so many dreams and goals idk wat happenedI suck at everything we have no money no nothing I cry every night before I sleep am so tired I wish I knw a away to end all of this pain.I have 0 friends probably will never get married cause I can't afford it. I'm a total failure the only way that I can end this is through death but I don't want to leave my family suffering behind me I wish we can all die together at the same time but that's not LikelyAnyway thanks for reading this pray for me
Failure. That's all I can say, I struggle I really do, I don't want to study, I have no motivation to thrive, I want to have motivation I really do, I want to be something, but life doesn't work this way, life is hard, today I failed my parents, I failed them miserably and I don't know how to make up for it, I don't know what to say, I don't want to get out of my room, the only thing I have passion to is gaming, and I'm good at it. Too good, where would that get me though? Because right now I'm lost, I'm completely lost I don't know who I am anymore.
One word to describe my life:fail. Im 43 years old and still live at home with my parents. Sadly i'm still a virgin, have never had a girlfriend and never even kissed a girl i'm one of the sadest excuses for a man that there has ever been. i have no job no money and no friends, my life is a faail. i weigh 357 pounds and am ashamed to even leave my house i'm such a pathetic excuse for human being. The only reason why I don't kill myself is because I'm a legendary character in an online computer game that I play. I am known as the Dungeon Queen and this is the highlight of my existence. On top of all this I have a condition where I have random bouts of explosive diarrea that I can't control and I often do not make it to the toilet in time and soil myself. I hate everything and everyone life is just such a fail, at least I am the Dungeon Queen.
Saturday, October 18 2014
I fail at everything i try. Today i was in a fashion design competition and i didn't even place. i always thought fashion was my thing, and i was always told it was. from a young age i have never had a talent. i played sports but was terrible, i play musical instruments but I'm average, i like art but again I'm average. i always thought that with fashion i had found my forte buf i was wrong. and I'm not a sore loser but eventually you get sick of failure... everyonr in my family is good at something except for me. i am such a let down.
Thursday, October 16 2014
Wow can't believe the age of some of the complainers. I'm 53 and still failing at life. I have a failed marriage, no girlfriend, no job, no money, three children who've turn their backs on me, I live in a small tidy room, and feel the anguish of loneliness. And I'm 53! You guys had better get use to failing, its apart of life. At some point I must add you do get use to it. And I now view my own life as a tragic comedy, its more fun than fretting and feeling sorry for myself. So all I can say to all is happy failures, can I have some more please.
23 years old, high school dropout, felon, type 1 diabetic, epileptic, alcoholic, no job, no girlfriend, no job references, no money, living with parents, crazy ass mother, bad back from under the table construction work, lose friends left and right. currently on probation.My life plan since I was very young was to join the USMC, so I didn't try hard in school, always hated school. Got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 15 and my plans fell apart because the armed forces dont take type 1 diabetics.Started drinking and using drugs heavily at the age of 15 after the diagnoses. Dropped out of school in 10th grade. Drug induced epilepsy was next...after using alot of cocaine.Things were going well, I ended with a girlfriend and was making money and almost made it out of my parents house. Then she cheated on me and I flipped shit and wound up with a gun in my hand with my girlfriend in the same room, she left and I contemplated suicide for a couple hours. I put the gun down and walked out of the house to be arrested by a SWAT team who thought I was holding a hostage...ended up being charged with pointing and possessing a firearm.So now here I am 2-3 years later wishing I could go back. I have had suicidal thoughts and tendencies since age 15 and have attempted multiple times..sleeping pills...insulin overdose, dumb things that i realize now would never have ended up working and were just cries for help. I still think about suicide but would never do it... it's to easy and i have people in my life that care about me and i couldn't stand the thought of doing that to myself and causing others pain in the process.None the less, i still wish i didn't have to deal with these cards i was dealt and think death would be nice.So all that said, I feel that i have failed at life, i look back at opportunities i have been given and wish i had taken them and now i just pray to whatever is up there to throw me another chance for it would surely be taken with seriousness and appreciation.
I love my life! I am Christian, Play football(American) and have a scholarship offer,I live in Canada probably the best place ever, I don't have a lot of money but I look at the bright side of things! I have three job applications to choose from, I'm a straight A/B student and I have my life plan set out for me!
I'm 29 years old, no money, no bank account, no job, no decent job qualifications, no hustle, live with my mom, no car, no license, almost no cloths, and just tired of waking up to the stress I have in my life... I am the DEFINITION of failure. My mother doesn't want me in her home but because she doesn't want to see me in the streets either she deals with me. Oh yeah, I have a record on top of everything else! I don't have any Fremont convictions but Im not qualified for anything that would actually put me on my feet, as far as, what a 29 year old man should be doing. I was married about six years ago for about 5 and half years and my wife ended up leaving me because she felt I was not capable of taking care of a family. My kids love me, but all I do is help with aftercare, Whenever my kids mother needed free time she would bring them to me (she doesn't restrict me from seeing them). what hurts the most is I have no one to confide in; no girlfriend, no friend, no pastor, or anything! It's too the point where I question my faith because I have yet to ever have something so wonderful happen to me, besides my kids of course. I don't know what to do. Every time I think I might have a girlfriend it's the same thing: they aren't looking for a relationship, or they take the little bit of money I manage to scrape up and leave me high and dry. I feel like I'm never going to be successful and my life will always suck.
I want to wish everyone who is reading this a good day, and just to know that however hard life gets even when you hit rock bottom, don't give up!! Situations, circumstances, life, social circles, aspirations and goals change constantly, you will not always feel the way you do now. Once you reach rock bottom you can only go up !! Don't give up trying :)
I have lost all hope in anything positive ever happening in my life. I failed school, failing uni. Have no friends, don't want to go back to my hometown and see my family as I feel so ashamed of myself. I am living on my overdraft. So ashamed of myself and disappointing, I have nothing going for me in life anymore.
the first time I came across this website was between 2007 & 2008 (I can't remember when exactly but that was around the time I dropped out of college).since then, I have been even more miserable and also tougher. one month ago I dislocated my right shoulder and I never visited a doctor. for the past 5 days I wae ill but push myself on without medications. The boss at my working place threatened to fire me if I miss work and my 'salary' is by far less than the minimum wage. I tried to find another job but cannot, due to my health, I sleep 2 hours after I close work and I work everyday (including weekends and public holidays).I am also a disgrace. People I know laugh a me behind my back.The frustrating fact is that there is no salvation in sight.
I feel sorry for people here
I hate college. Except for this one girl, she makes it nice. But she has a boyfriend, so she barely talks to me.What a fun life.
Feel like my life has just dropped from under my feet. Came out of school with good qualifications went to college got good marks there as well but as of yet no jobs no relationships no REAL friendships. I was told buckle down get good grades and the world will be yours, yeah right what an idiot I see people with no qualifications with a job a girlfriend a car and more importantly a smile?
This website is really sad, and extremely unhealthy. Everyone is complaining and gearing towards suicide. Where is the help? There are several posts with 0 comments and nothing motivating on them. We all go through rough times. Life isn't fair or easy but none of you all are failures. You're still living and you can make the change. I have several thoughts a day that make me feel belittled but don't let your own thoughts bring you down. Stay true to yourself and pursue life the way you want! I promise you there is always a way. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY!
I fail at everything.I fail in school and I dont like to read.Most of the students in school have a talent at least at one thing but I dont have any.I suck at school,I suck at sports, I dont have friends and also never had a girlfriend and probably will never get one...I have tried to talk to my parents on how I feel but they cant understand.I am so alone and I spend most of the time inside my room in the internet trying to escape from this world where the only thing I do is failures.Everyday I always think about killing myself as I cant do anything right....the only thing I can do is praying to God hoping that all of this will end some day...
Wednesday, October 15 2014
I failed in everything I do. Everything artistic;: from writing to drawing. I love to write and I love to draw. But why do I even care if it's gonna kill me when I "love" doing. Because I know it will kill me. I'm not talented nor skilled. I'm really good in school but when I leave the gates I'm a totally failure in life. I don't know what to do.
I feel so much unhappiness and rage everyday. I achieved everything I wanted to professionally, and yet I still feel a grim shadow blanketing the whole world, from pole to pole. I feel anger coursing through my bones. I wish I didn't feel so worthless and unloved. Every day I approach a point where I consider suicide, and then an immense wave of anger washes over me, draining away all the weakness. It's as though the God of Hate gives me a new lease of life every night. But I merely replace loneliness and worthlessness, with a tidal surge of anger. That anger - which really is a generalized desire for revenge on the world - is what has driven me the succeed to the extent that I have. But I'm so exhausted with feeling angry and lonely day after day.To all the other posters: mere material, professional or romantic success will not be an antidote to your problems, because the disease lies within.
Saturday, October 11 2014
I suck. I am 25 with No job, no education, no girlfriend and still a virgin. I hate my life, still want others to think i'm ok, want to look strong, i guess it's an ego thing. I have no ideea what i should do. I have become scared of people, of family and friends, i always feel ashamed of myself so i spend most of the time alone in my room, where lonelynes hurts as hell. I have no hope anymore... :(
I think failed in life is just lesson that teaches by god to all fools who commented here including me also but god always give second chance so dont worry enjoy life not think about people that what they think about us after all we came alone here and die alone in this unknown but cruel world so whats say guys enjoy lifeRegarding best wishes from me(A big fool fron india)
I am 15 years old and I fail all of my classes. The last time we had a maths test, I got 5% and this is not unusual for me as I usually get a result simmilar to this. I never do any of my homework because I am a lazy idiot and this is one of reasons I am failing all of my classes at school. I have alienated most of my friends because I am an obnoxious fool. I try to be funny and show off in front of people when all I am doing is embarrassing myself. I spend at least 10 hours a day on the internet and I usually go to bed at around 3am and I have to get up at 8:30am, so I am always tired which means I fail even harder at school. I am also very weak becuase I get no sleep and I never eat or exercise so I would lose in a fight to pretty much everyone. I will probably never get a girlfriend because I am small, weak, and very ugly. Every girl in my class is taller than me and it is very embarrassing. I have failed high school and ruined my future. I used to be smart when I was like 8 but now I am a complete idiot.
I am 20 years of age and i hate myself my life and the decisions i have made for me. Everyone hates me they don't appraciate my existance.but When i was 16 everyone loved me striving to be like me. I was realy a talented smart and talkative but i was fool too. Some of my enemies like (uncles) get jealous to see me floating in happiness they cheated on me they were finding ways to bring me down.they realy succeed in their goals to bring me down bcs i loved and trusted everyone even my dad also cheated on me. Now they had removed my smiles from my lips, my talent from my minds and smartness from my body. Now i just remain the body with flesh and bones. I have been cheated by my trusted ones now i don't blieve on other to make me happy again.What i do? Where i go?Is sucied is only the solution.I had a lot of hopes in my mind but now i just want to live relax.Please any expert do something for me.
No use of continuing life. I have nothing and I am nothing. I will always be less than garbage. I can't wait until the world ends. I hate myself more than anyone else I have ever met. I am as useless as it gets, I am uglier than trash. I am ignorant and stupid. Death is what is in my future. Everything I do is trash. My thoughts are hypocritical and trash. I shall die and burn in hell. I deserve everything bad. Kill me I beg you...I can't wait until I save up enough money to buy a gun and kill myself. There will be no other way.
Im a failure in college, relationships, talking, learning and everything and just wanna end this everyday pain
I stumbled across this site and decided to give it a try. In my younger years I did not care much for school, which has been my downfall for my future. I am currently married with two children and have been on and off jobs since my wife and I met. My partner has been successful in her life because she is driven and achieves her goals, as for my self I have not been so lucky to earn or inherit these traits. The outcome has been devastating to my man hood and obligations. Currently, I am a stay at home dad during the week and, if I am lucky, able to get on a schedule at Staples. Everyday I see my wife walk in the house tired from the commute. My previous job was decent enough to earn day care for my children while my wifes paycheck paid the bills and we were able to have some money left, but after losing that job and not being able to find another with that same or higher income we both decided that I will have to stay home and work part-time on the weekend or nights. I was able to work on weekends until two weeks at Staples I was informed the store will be closing, now I am lucky to get on the schedule and drive forty minutes to my transferred location. We are home owners and after all expenses paid do not have much money to work with. My main concern is my family, my children are able to attend our church school but at times it is hard to conjure up cash for clothing and additional items. As for my wife, my heart breaks because she is not able to buy cloths and items a woman would like to feel good about herself. She tells me that its not a big deal, but I can see pass the lie and know she wants to go shopping. I have prayed asking for something to my beloved father hoping that something will change, but things are getting worse. With the holiday seasons and many birthdays our cash goes to other family members. I write this to anyone who has struggled in life, telling them they are not alone. The darkness has hands which grab you and not only pull you back but drain the life from you....sparing nothing but fear and regret. I once fell to my knees crying to my creator for something to change, hoping my sadness would bring pity but nothing changed.
Failed my presentation at Uni aswell because they could not hear my voice clearly. Whenever I engage in conversation with anyone I feel out of breath fast which means the conversation never lasts. I have tried inhalers to no avail. I cannot exercise as the allergy brings on asthma. My dad has the same allergy but he doesnt get as bad symptoms and he is able to talk loud etc. He tells me has has it the same way I do (which is not true) and tells me to get on with my studies and life. My mom (who has never had allergies in her life) tells me to "man up" and stop acting like a little child whenever i complain about it. So both my parents do not understand the poor lifestyle I have. I am also a sufferer of depression and anxiety but I am sure that is because I am unhappy due to the allergy. No one seems to take my problems seriously. I am treated like a joke by most people also.
Most of the time I dont want to exist, be nothing and noone and nowhere. Sometimes I just want to walk away from everything where I live, my family is the only thing stopping me without them I would. I just dont want to feel anchored down all the time with a chain on my ankle half that of the sea with no survival. I havent had the best of lives but I havent had the worst its always been... flatlined. Im 19 had 2 gf and did ok in school hardly cared for people who held some interest in me either with good intentions or bad, for me its always the same outcome; they all fade in time as will I at somepoint for them. I also have a few friends but only see them if they want to see me. Have no idea of where to begin on my future but for the moment it seems bleak and thats it, dont have many interests the only thing that is sort of an intrest is drugs but its more of a hobbie. Everyone I've met has way more to tell than I do im like a basic mould at factory compared to most other humans and i used to self harm but I dont do it as often as I did cause I feel its a little childish now but its hard to find other distractions. If someone feels the same way it would be good to know and i might feel a little better but other than that I dont know what to do anymore.
people have always said things will get better. ive heard so many inspiring messages saying to weather through the storm and that it will pass and things will be better. i feel so humiliated that i believed that things would get better. the harder i try the harder i fall. the more healthy i try the sicker i become. whenever i feel one ounce of motivation it is quickly destroyed by the realization of self. i dont know who i am, what i want, or what to do and i never will. i wish i killed myself years ago. this existence is pure humiliation and defeat. evan when i try to empower myself the exact opposite happens. whatever happen to the law of attraction? does it not work for me? wheres the echo? whats the lesson. help please help me please
I'm sad and angry. Mostly Angry. It is unfair the way this life leads me. The force controls me...the force manipulated situations and makes things worse. There is no way to defeat it. Death is scary, but life is scarier
Well..my life screwed up when I was bullied out of my sixth form. I got a's and b's at GCSE but made the decision to stay on with my "friends", a decision that would cripple my future. They werent friends.. they showed me their true colour, the masks came off. Spitting gum at me and ruining my schoolwork became a daily ritual. At christmas I could endure no more of this suffering (the teachers did minimal to help, I dont think they cared) and when one of my tormentors proceeded to assault me for something minor, i ceased the opportunity to beat him completely, to the pointwhere his face was bloody and disfigured. Here I sit, typing away with a conviction for GBH, and barely any places will accept me.Nice people have their limits.
Hey my name is Daniel, I recently just turned 20 and I'm having serious suicidal thoughts. I'm miserable, lonely and my family hates me. I have some friends, but they are so far away that visiting them for emotional support is nigh impossible. Recently my mom called the police on me for domestic violence because I spat in her face because she smashed me over the head with a dinner plate. Currently I'm dealing with a lot of police bullshit and now I'm jobless because part of my bail condition is to reside with my father in Cambridge Ontario. All those fuckers hate me and I'm not allowed to make contact with my mom for the rest of my life. I've been diagnosed with depression when I was younger and I've always felt lonely and had to put up with these feeling since I was 11. That was when my parents split and since then I've been lonely. All I want is to be happy but no... Fucken bullshit after fucken bullshit. I haven't had peace of mind in along time and I don't know what to do. I've quit marijuana and alcohol since last week but I'm still on cigarettes hard. I feel so lonely. I have no one to talk to about my problems and I don't want to involve my dad because I've already put him through enough, I feel like I cause pain to everyone I cross paths with and this goddamn sadness is killing me but you know what? I probably deserve all of this for the pain and suffering I've caused to my fellow kin and now that I'm 20 I understand that I was wrong. I think I deserve to burn like the piece of shit that I am and that's what's driving me back into suicide, all I want is someone to talk to, someone to relate to but there's no one like me. I'm a fucken monster paving my own path to destruction. What a waste of fucken potential, I was such a happy blissful person before all of this... It seems like I'll never get out of this hole I've buried myself in. What to do.... What to do... Kill myself possibly but that such a sad ending. I'm so confused someone please help.
My story is nothing special.. Almost same as everyone of you. Ugly, jobless, no girlfriend no friends either. In feel the more we grow the more life takes away from us. I am loosing everything slowly. My love left me, my friends too. My parents are getting old now. Everything I touch or attempt, I fail so miserably that I have to think 10 times to re do it.Ohh what to add more , what to write I don't know... God help us all
ds is my 8th year in engineering never ever studied in whole engineering and now I'm confident to handle any problem in life.
I was going to write a lot about my life, i thought i failed a lot at life and i felt really bad with myself, i still do. But compared to what i've just read on this website, i think theres a lot of people much worse then me, with real problems.. I wish you all the best in life.
I am a 20 year old guy.I'm fat,average height,braces,spectacles and low self esteem. I have a daydreaming problem which has completely ruined my real life.I have failed college and had to stay home for a whole year during which i did nothing at all. And i might fail my 2nd try of continuing my education too. I have a very few friends to whom I lie about my life.My parents are horrible people and my brother and I don't talk much.I am addicted to smoking, TV and also porn.Talking to new people scares me and I also have never had a girlfriend. I obsess over a certain girl in my imaginations but am scared of talking to her in reality. My life is utterly worthless. Please help.
My love is lost. I love her morethan everything. But one day she says i have another boy friend. Now i am sad. I cant think properly. My mind wil lost soon. And in my heart her precents creates a great hole and so i donot have to say how can i live . . .
I have failed utterly in life. Now I have absolutely nothing to live for. I am 27 and single, never had a relationship with a guy in life. I am miserable. I am a disgrace.
I lost my ability to hold conversations or to write about anything that doesn't have to do with how sick and worthless I am. I stopped hanging out with people because of my major anxiety I developed a weird problem where I become mute, I just can't find anything to say and then the moment passes. I can't be in the present moment. I'm so depressed. I can barely be outside in public with out having a paranoid panic attack I just want to be a part of the world again I have done so many horrible things on medication I can't trust myself to make the right decisions anymore at all even the slightest sentence I can't control what comes out of my mouth anymore. I am a sloppy mess at 23 dependent completely on my mother who is a recovering alcoholic who has epilepsy. She does everything for me with out her I would be completely lost and have no idea what's going on I lost all of my intelligence when I lost my mind and I'm left in a state of the lights are on but nobodies home and I'm in school but living all these lies is catching up to me I can't breathe anymore this is all I think about. Nothing I do makes sense anymore I've failed and trying to get back up but terrified at the same time. I'm a recovering junkie. Its funny how I didn't realize I was hanging out with drug addicts and bad people. Because I thought those were my only friends because I liked to do bad things and get into trouble. Now I'm here and screwed. I am quitting my job but in reality I need to run away from myself I can't stand myself anymore.
I FAILED THREE TESTS WOW I SUCK.
im boutta fail this cs test FUCk
Wednesday, October 8 2014
Human beings are disgusting things . They , we , I presented to be the greatest yet do so many mistakes . Why are there children still dying of hunger ? Fuck the world , fuck all the great people . I will not let my life be nothing because someone decided so . I am not good enough in many things , but is that my fault ? I have always worked hard , and did what must be done . I will not fail .No matter what the world throughs at me . I am not going to fail.....Fuck the world , you will not win .
Wednesday, October 1 2014
I have a calc 3 exam tomorrow and I suck I fail at everything I don't know why I got accepted into the engineering school if I'm so stupidWe had a quiz in my design course today and I messed that upI'm dumb as hell and I keep writing run on sentences. RIP Me
Thoda sa mehnat aur himmat agar 10 saal pehle kiya hota to aaj zindagi kuch aur hotaNow I hv realised that I m a big failure, thats the reason probably why couldn't I establish myself. I m a looser who hv no social identity, nor a good friend /girlfriend. God knows whether destiny will favour me? I didn't want to die like a coward.
Tuesday, September 30 2014
I am a failure, And a waste of air. There is no poetry so if you are looking for sad beauty than move on. I am 15 years old, and I hate myself, I am ugly, awkward, gross and unattractive (others say I'm not, but I doubt it), and I really have no meaningful friendships, I am not strong, a liar, lazy, selfish, annoying, panicky, wrathful, and whiny (as if I have suffered) I get excited about projects and drop or do the half assembly sometimes at the expense of my peers, I lie to my mom, get bad grades, and generally fail at life, I probably will end up homeless.
i have so far did nothing significant in my life so much so that it can be the basis to support the family.Now that time is running out and i am slowly aging .... i thought throughout since the time when i was a teen that i could achieve anything i think of , however there was dearth of proper strategy and hard labor ...now that i have a family to support with an angel in my life as my daughter...how do i compensate the time that is lost forever to undo the things that shouldn't have been done at all....i can't kill myself either as i am not that brave and neither i am able to gather enough strength to fight back to achieve what once i had thought to become.....that biggest mistake that i made is not to interpret life from a very practical point of view.....to achieve practically , i should had been very practical...
I look in the mirror and the face that looks back defies me, and makes me fail at everything. It schemes to ensure my defeat. There is no god but the spirit of evil inside yourself, and how quickly it allows good to be undone. I only want to life alone in peace now so that I cannot hurt anyone but myself. A few years peace and then death is all I ask.
Monday, September 29 2014
What an ugly world. Greedy people. Hateful people...no regard for human life...no love or faith. I have been deceived by this world. Keep your degrees and keep your greedy money...to the women that have rejected me...you have missed out on eyes that would have led you to a better understanding on things. To all the people who do wrong in the world...keep this world and all in it, I'll wait for The end
Sunday, September 28 2014
I am a 36yo alcoholic. I left the Army after being in 14 years 4 years ago. I couldn't find a job after a year and a half. I used the GI Bill to go to school and dropped out after 2 years. I am divorced and barely speak to my kids. They are always so quick to get off the phone. They lived with me for eight months because my ex was tired of being abused by her boyfriend. They decided to go back to live with their mother. I am completely broken by this and haven't been able to find work. My car was repossessed, lost my apartment, owe money to the school and all over the city. I live with my mother and all of my family members keep talking about me not working. There's nothing left for me here, I want to just leave, but I am sure things will be worse. I have failed at my life and don't want to go on any longer but suicide will hurt so many people along with showing my kids that I truly am a failure.
Saturday, September 27 2014
I am being punished for something that I have done or will do. Now I think God is making me go down the downward-spiral and test my faith. Why me? I am punished and killed.
I'm at a point where I no longer see myself in future. I fucked up school. Failed my first semester at varsity and that was it. I can't even tell my parents. It kills me everytime they call and ask about school and I lie about it. All my life I was a fuck up and did nothing right. I disappointed them so much growing up and after finding out that my dad is terminally ill I swore to change and make them proud. Now I'm scared he might die knowing both his daughters were a disgrace. School was all I had and now that's fucked up as well. Fake friends don't give shit and most of them have left. I'm very depressed and flirt with the idea of death more than often. I'm even seriously considering prostitution. I'm tired of living like this.. I don't know if I can go on any longer
WhO'S THAT THINKIN NASTAY THOUGHTS??NASTAY BOYZ!!!WHO'S THAT IN THAT NASTAY CAR??NASTAY BOYZ!!!WHO'S THAT EATIN THAT NASTAY FOOD??NASTAY BOYZ!!!WHOSE JAMMIN TO MY NASTY GROOVE??NASTAY BOYZ!!!LADIES..NASTYYYYYYY BOYZ, DON' MEAN A THANGOOH U NASTY BOYZ!!!
Friday, September 26 2014
ive started to feel like my mum feels more love towards my sister because she has always been a hard worker and I've been the 1 who has been in and out of jobs. i wish i could settle in a job to be able to try show i don't surf between jobs on purpose but it just turns out that way and now i just feel like the only way to make my mum love me is to buy physical presents. I'm in a job now that I've kept for over a year but as its not such a physical demanding i think it just gives reason to make things easier for her to decide who she prefers. I'm 30 and don't know where life is trying to lead me, is this bad?
I'm a fuck up and I'll never get anything right. I've been homeless and have done nothing but live off others and I know nothing I'll do will ever make me proud or happy. I've been too sick to do anything for nearly a year and even if I get back into college it wont matter because I'm not smart enough to hold a job and I will never be able to be happy with my below mediocre life.
Wednesday, September 24 2014
Today was an important day in my life.i was about to give a presentationi tried my best to overcome the nervousness but it remained in my life. Now today after all my hard work i feel that i have lost in my entire life. I know that this moment will pass, but i feel that everyone was still laughing at me.
I failed three classes last semester and got put on academic probation. Over the summer I was really pumped about changing my life around and getting better and not being so lazy/depressed, but now that the school year began I've just been my same old self. I'm going to fail one class again because I just won't study, one class a new time, and one class just because it assigns so much work. I'm just so overwhelmed. I just keep hoping that one day I'll find some sort of inspiration to not be an idiot, but it isn't happening.
Tuesday, September 23 2014
Im from italy. I am late with college exams, which are so hard. I have no friends, never had a gf, never kissed a girl. My parents want results but the truth is I am not even ready for life. I can't do anything by my own. I have no trust in people, this world sucks. I just want to go away, somewhere so far and kill myself and then somehow get my corpse dissolved into acid because no one must know what happened or find me again. I just live in my bed and cry all the time and i'm almost 21. I really want to do something, but I know i can't do anything but fail and fail again. And I'm just tired of all this shit. My life isn't hard, i don't have parents who beat me, or a bad family. The problem is me, I am a huge failure and I can't live this life because this is not the world I want. It's not like I want it.
I have never been allowed to fail before in my life because of my over protective parents. Now that I am on my own, I dont know what to do because I have have no one to protect me. I am scared of failing because I dont even know how to fail. So now I might not even try anything because I am scared of failing. Doesn't that equal failure? ...not even giving myself a chance? I feel lost and I'm not sure what to do.
i lost my life beacause i am getting success in any field. just now i am persuing enng frm a institute btvin that field also i am not getting success . so plz tell what ishould do now . only the option is to quit my life.
Monday, September 22 2014
My life is failed. I'm 19 and I've done nothing in life. I've never had a girlfriend or any friend. I am ugly. I have never had a job and I don't know how to drive and I'm still in high school. Everywhere ignores me on websites. My parents are overprotective. I live in the hottest state. It never gets winter and that's my favorite season. My parents refuse to move. They talk and talk, but nothing gets done..just like me. Now I know I'll always be nothing. Lousy trash. I'm scared of every thing. No one wants to help me. I still have this small glimmer of hope...I'm going to hold onto it forever
Saturday, September 20 2014
I have nobody in this life that loves me I have six brothers two sisters they all hate me I passed out because I couldn't breathe to go to the emergency they had to shock me back to life my neighbor was my friend she watch my dog cat fish.for 6 days and when I got out my SSI card with to wrong address sorry my phone got turned off and now she hates me everything I do is wrong I can't find a job I'm too old only 56 I can't even get over my ex wife that was 15 years ago even my sons hate me.
Thursday, September 18 2014
I failed at life. I did. I dint get into med school and it was my most precious dream... i worked so hard... people look at me like i am the biggest failure on earth like i dont have a chance and i feel like it ... i am so crushed... my mom cant afford tutoring and i am drained both mentaly and phisically... i got into college to do something i dont like ... i am afraid of not passing the exams... everything i had done to this day was for the moment i was going to be a doctor.. it might never happen... it's the most awful feeling in the world...
Wednesday, September 17 2014
I'm a gamer and I love to game on a computer and I do it a lot. I get all As and Bs in school and run cross country but to my parents I'm a massive fuck up. I don't know if I actually am a failure but I sure as hell feel like it.
I will be jobless and will encounter financial problems. I'm not able to do something useful, since i never ever had a job nor experience in any field of expertise. Basically, I'm born to be useless. I'm even to stupid to kill myself. I will starve to death, probably fitting to what i deserve.
I feel like I did the wrong things and made wrong life decisions and now I put my two little daughters and my wife in a bad situation. I don't wanna die, but it feels like I'm dead inside.
Had a terrible year last year... classes got screwed up, poor relationships with God and people. I was not looked fondly upon by staff/professors at my school, people in my future possible workplace, nor did students take kindly to me either.I tried as hard as I could to get my life together and start my new year off right. Ended up screwing up again and continued having an even worst school year. Summer came, kept making mistakes.Then this school year came by and I was ready to make things right and try my absolute hardest to pursue God and truth. Things were going great till I screwed up again and ruined everything I had going for me.Now I'm just depressed and struggling to just get by, paying thousands of dollars for schooling to live a life of mediocrity because I keep screwing up my opportunities. I was actually beginning to love my school and have a great year till I screwed it all up.
Hey i'm feeling so lonely. I've nobody to talk to. To chat with. I've lost many friends. Nobody initiates conversations with me. Can't study. Engineering is so tough to me. Feeling hopeless. Feeling ugly. So lonely. So hopeless. Not doing well in exams. Can't concentrate on studies. I don't know what. I fail at life.
Tuesday, September 16 2014
I failed 3 engineering courses last semester in college. I might not even get financial aid. All my friends are in engineering advancing in their classes. I might be janitor while my friends are making 6 figures. Man my sucks right now. What is the point of living in civilization. I just like going to live in the wilderness with wild animals where there is no worries of bills, and other problems.
Monday, September 15 2014
Ah and I decided to not wait for my daughter to call me or want to be with me today this morning after praying and having as little run at the beach decided to gather her presents I got for her in my trio and gave them to her. We hen as he saw me coming into her job she smiled and was kind. I talked to her for a little bit only but she had a bug smile and said that after work maybe she would hang out with me. I don't know how but praying always works and I will keep in trusting God to help me every day I might be considered A failure at work but with God I'm more than as conquerer and I know in my heart that everything will work out well at the end because I love God and Jesus and God loves me. He has shown it by giving up His only son Jesus on the cross for me. My soul is worth his precious blood there fore I am worthy and you are worthy cheer up there's hope in Jesus Christ.
I say just trust your heavy burdens on Him who loves you. I almost forgot all about his grace his love and his promise to be there if you call upon His name. I truly felt so low yesterday I cried and cried and today when I remembered that scripture I know that asking him to help me, opening my heart to Him will work because God is true Jesus is true he is close and near if you call upon Him. If you are feeling like giving up just give yourself a chance to be accepted loved and put all your burdens in His hands just ask Him to help you carry them even if you have nog prayed before just open your lips and ask He will give you rest and peace .
I came back today because yesterday was feeling awful and wanting to entertain the idea of not being in this world as an alternative.this morning felt better. Yesterday after admitting here how I felt as a failure and so exhausted I remembered the scripture that Jesus said come to me all those who are weary and laboured that I will give you rest. As I walked on the beach this morning I felt much better and listened to some scriptures in this app in iTunes or Apple called NT ( meaning New testament) and the OT what stands for Old testament. This apps helped me before to go through the bible very quickly a few yeArs ago. 4 years ago.IT changed my life listening to the Scriptures daily. Today I remembered that what Jesus said and fave me great comfort. I know that everything works for the good of those who love the Lord. Jesus says come to me all those who are weary and hard laboured. That includes me and you in this forum. Meaning trust our burdens to Him Jesus. He also said that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow because every day brings its own toil. To trust God to give and provide everything we need because even the birds are fed daily and how much more our Heavenly father wants to give us his children who believe in Him. That comforted my soul and no I don't need to kill myself to rest the only thing I need is to give up my burdens st the cross of Jesus and let Him renew my soul. Let him give me rest. He was rejected . He was despised. He was oppressed and bullied, and he was mocked, he was spitten, he was abused, he suffered, he also was hungry and tired and killed. He knows all about feeling as a failure in this world BUT he overcame death and he had victory over all of those who hurt him, he resurrected, he is risen and he loves all those who feel weak and tired and lonely because he knows all about that he suffered it too. And he through his grace and unending love can help us overcome our weakness because where we are weak he is strong.
I am.from india and 19 yrs old boy I take admission in engineering as i am very passionate about.but bcoz of mathematics I quit engineering and Do Bsc Agri Bio Tech how, fool I am,I dissapointed my parents.my all friends do engineering and .I fool do Bio-Tech but atleast I am happy now.but sometimes I think that,the course I choose have not much value but I like biology but I am not talented.
Saturday, September 13 2014
And I don't have one true friend at all in this country just the people I randomly meet at church and the people at bible study who don't know how deeply hurt I am and how much of as failure in life I feel. I came to this country to become a doctor to take the boards 15 years ago and I never did. Why? Because I was a single Mon we both a small 7 year old child. I had to work and pay rent and all the stuff of . Living in the US and didn't qualify for any help. Got married with an emotionally abusive person that ended in divorce and me and my girl struggling to survive. I am a doctor in my country but here had no education I went to school even though I was depressed and alone just my little one. And became a CNA worked then I was so as angry at life and stupid politics of phillipino coworkers got fired then looked for another job got into mental health work and loved it. But couldn't save MONEY to take my medical boards too expensive TO live here. Then enrrolled in nursing school Graduated from associates didnt want to get a bachelor's because i already had one and a masters in my country and didnt really liked nursing but because of the money i could earn to save to take my boards as nd be a doctor here but I didn't count on the nastiness of my fellow nurses co workers ever envious OF I don't know what and MADE my work life impossible complaining of me until the bossess fired me in every nursing job i had gotten in the US. Never ABLE to save money FOR my boards because always needed TO MAKE sure my daughter had a safe place TO live and food. The years passed and didn't TAKE MY medical board's. Now my daughter stArted drinking using pot at 14-15 I became deeply depressed and quit my job to be ABLE to spend time with her and make sure she got out of that and she did thankfully stopped using pot but one day the police called me at work because my 17 year old d as daughter had been admitted with as alcohol poisoning I was so angry with her because she was cynical as bout it.we moved I stopped working as much to be with her more and we struggled for money but she got better. But then she starting to be with guys coming home late etc which was very worrisome and kept . Me awake at night and very tired to go to work at 6 am next morning which affected my mental focus I suppose. And it was like that for a couple of years with some improvement and Setbacks. Then she got worse and I moved with her to Los Angeles to keep her from her friends who I thought then had as bad influence on her. Then I was was in such anxiety about her that I was late at work sometimes and snappy tired etc.I had been fired from my previous job because I was unable to make an assignment very far away from home. T hen I got that job in LA but had my 18 year old DAUGHTER with me. And I had not being able to pay the new car monthly payment for 4 months so it got repossessed and we were stranded in LA like that so couldn't make it to work on time and got fired. So we came back home but didn't have an apartment anymore and she stayed with her alcoholic friend and as he got a job and I stayed with church friend and got another temporary job saved money and got anew apartment together. Then I was fired for I don't know what oh yeah because I didn't have a car and they found out. I had to take the trolley. So I was in unemployment thankfully for almost one year until I decided that with God's help I could do it. Meanwhile my daughter got in church and she was happier and better I was able to be st peace AND kept my job for just 2 months because the medic as l assistants got into hating me because I was a doctor in my country! Dogs.so I was once more without job by now it started to affect me emtionallyh finally and becam insecure and untrusty of people at work. Meanwhile my daughter was IN college and met this black dude, another one, that basically pulled her slowly but surely out of church and she started to act out again rebellious, being late or even not coming back and sexually as active with him and drinking again after he cheated on her and broke her heart. Then same thing I became unfocused and Anxious and lost my job again, got another one . But just being able to hold it for 5-6 months each and got a super good job who a couple of other nurses got t he pleasure to rip away from me with their constant bullying me around. But this time I defended myself. Eventually found a well paid job and at this time mg daughter had become involved with someone else not coming back home, drinking, and using birth control pills we both this new guy and then she moved out with her friends because she didn't want to be told anything and eventually with this new guy into a room studio and I just fell apart because she wouldn't want to go to church or even the guy is a believer but my daughter whom I love so much became increasingly cold with me and now she wouldn't talk to me of call or anything and I eventually got fired as g as in from my no as t recent job because I was one minute late. Again after 3 warnings. Of course they didn't know my struggle with my daughter. She now lives with her boyfriend that appears to be pretty selfish but loves her in his own way. He has no mom since childhood and seems to want to keep my daughter away from me. They both recently joined to sue the company that they worked for a few years for sexual harassment which as he never said to me anything anyone doing such thing to my dear daughter, and UNPaid time. They got PAYMENT for it winning and my daughter feels totally like as she needs No one even God b ed cause she got this boyfriend. I now feel very sad and hurt because my only daughter just rather not be around me even calling me. She kindly gave me an ipad for my birthday but she won't answer face time or messages. Because she says as he is too busy with school work the boyfriend and her new dog and cats.me I'm about to start a new job on Monday. I turned 50 last days of August.I don't know what is coming in the future but I feel pretty tired already. I can't take more of the same I need a way out of all this failed work life, mom-daughter life, I just need my daughter healthy close to Jesus and living a healthy lifestyle and her love. And a job to support the basic life necessities and the ability emotional and mentally to hold it in order to stabilize financially and stop struggling to even pay rent and the needed stuff. I am exhausted. Can this get better?
Ah also decided a few years ago that I wanted to be pure sexually since before I had my share of failed relationships in the sense of feeling fulfilled emotionally but felt used sexually by the people I engaged myself with maybe due to low self-esteem and self-love. So I decided to get closer to God and it was hard but finally achieved sexual purity and more peace in my life. Well no one wants to date me now lol before when I was ready to jump in bed quickly in the early phase of a relationship had plenty of guys interested of course and I was younger also. But now that I wanted to live as life more healthy in every way I have had no interested parties in 4 years! And I feel bad for saying what I said just n my earlier post but that's how I honestly feel right now. Even though my love for God and having a relationship with Jesus Christ and have had overcome many obstacles just in life with God's help today I felt so much anger due to the rejection of my only 22 y.o daughter whom I raised as a single mom all these years and now that she refuses to hang out together and/ or see me since she moved out with her boyfriend 4 months ago, and realizing that job struggle I always had experienced and the pain so great of failure in life that I have in my heart today is so painful so pas sinful that I deeply hurt and cry. I mean is true so true. Death seems a selfish option because after all why should I kill myself due to other people rejection of me knowing that God loves me truly? I just want to know how can I be successful in the future years I don't want to die I want to live freely and joYFUL please LORD help me!
I totally understand how people feel about checking out of killing themselves because I feel the same way . But also love being alive and enjoying the beautiful things that life has to offer. Is just that I'm tired of struggling to succeed. I have failed in every job I ever had. For some reason that I don't get or understand people reject me and it hurts so deeply even my 22 years old daughter gets annoyed if I want to see her, like I just came back from a trip and brought her some presents she would not want to come say Hi even or ask how I am doing or even get her presents. It hurts me so much and it made me so angry that I started feeling like I hate myself and want it to just die. I'm a nurse here I am a doctor in my country and yet I have to always be looking for yet a new job since I was younger always had a problem with jobs. I have always encountered the sharks those who are ready to destroy you or the other women who just hate me even if I didn't do anything to them always getting fired for politics not even for a good reason other than being late sometimes a few minutes like the last job one minute late the birch fired me. So is something else even if I do . My job well and better than the majority I am the one getting fired. I don't get it. I just turned 50 yeArs old but look lively like 33 at most but I'm so tired if always being rejected and fired and struggling to survive from job to job and never able to save money buy a house or a decent car because I get a job and we hen I'm just getting stable financially oooooooooo m fired again as nd have to start again. This has been going on for all my life I don't understand why people don't like me and reject me I'm so sad and tired just want to die but I like being alive is sad in don't want to kill myself because of other assholes selfishness and hatred I just want to be happy and have peace and the necessary things in life and enjoy my life.
In hate the bitches at every job I had where 4th we y made their b set effort in getting me fired. Why is it that there is one mother fucker like that in every we workplace?
i have all of u beat 53 and no girlfriend never b een married survive delivering pizzaa my car is on the border of working or dying and no one wants to buy it and when i have the oppty for a blessing i dont make it to the place as depression kicks in and keeps me hope everyone i know has succeeded in life so i am the only failure i hate this city and hate this life and want to check out
I am unsure if someone will like me, because I am up in space person (the opposite of down to earth in space), selfish, rude, have cyberbullied people just because they were hurting my friends, spoiled brat, always silent at school, because I suck at sports and I am brave only behind the screen. Does anyone feel the same way?
i continue to fail in the clutch always fail at critical moments had a lovely person willing to promote my book waiting at studio along w supporting personel for live interview w camera and i failed to make it couldnt overcome depression some fatigue and general emptiness o f soul i always miss my blessings by failing in the clutch have sick empty feeling terrified of life/work now terrified of being alone/single as i have been all my life cant seem to cross the bridge w a female i almost want to commit suicide as everyone around me is doing fine in their routine of life and i am still in survival and simple mode
Friday, September 12 2014