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Ever since I got into highschool my life has turned upside down. My grades dropped (I understand the stuff but the tes trees are seriously fucked up), my parents hated me, my wieght has gone up (My AP classes give me no time to play) and all I do is lock myself in my room everyday after school. But during school I have to listen.I have to listen to my friends complain about how they cant go to Bali for chrismas breaj or cant get the latest game on Steam and when I get home I just cry because I will never have any of what they have now. I dont even know where my futures headed. All i am good at is making friends where I cant even maintain my familial ties. I feel the world has selected against me. And when I WANT to create change, society is the ONLY thing that keeps me back. Im 16 and I hate this controlled world we live in. Where numbers on test papers determines the numbers on your cheque. Where there are huge imbalances between people.... I hate that, but I cant do anything about it.
FUCK THIS SHIT. I hate almost everyone... I hate the world I live in. I hate the people that inhabit this disgusting, corrupt, infectious city. I just want to leave this terrible hellhole and find some place where something is REAL instead of the homogenized crap that floods the world. I hate the school system. I hate the Government. I hate society. I hate the system that we have set up for us. I hate the organization of the modern world. I hate MTV, I hate Newsweek, I hate Walter Cronkite, I hate Watered-down television shit, I hate porn. Literally all I want to do is play guitar and drums (and sing, but my voice is godawful, lol I mean like it sounds like an influenza-ridden triceratops^^Having sex with Lee Ving after shooting up heroin.). I don't know what to do with my life...
I'm 15, I suck at school (and apparantly life in general), I have no idea what to do with my life. None of my career goals are possible. I have no social life and no scholar-abilities. I have the ability to be a successful musician, but no way of starting a band or getting a record-deal (I live in buttfuck-Columbia South Carolina). I hate myself and no one can help me and I don't know what to do. All I want is to run away and walk the Earth... No career, No responsibility, No school... Just me, a car, my girlfriend, and some guitars.
My life is a failure dressed as a pretty, smart, twenty-something woman. My outside appearances are a complete facade. Truth is, I completely hate myself. If it wasn't for my religion, I would be dead by suicide by now. I seriously fail at everything I do. I am worthless, unlovable, and a mess. I'm in therapy, but I don't know if it's really helping me at all. I've burned too many bridges in this lifetime. I just need a way out of my toxic brain. I am a failure. Nothing more, nothing less.
I'm 23 years old, still living with my parents because I never saw any type of spark or interest in anything. I've never had a real job. I'm on thin ice in college. Everyone I try to get close to I always mess things up and make things worse. No friends that are willing to hang out with me. For that matter might as well say no friends. The love of my life I can never get to look my way. Every woman I've tried to get close to ends up hating me or cheating on me. At this point I'm even getting my own family to hate me. I've had thoughts of suicide. At this point it's all just a gamble on who first pulls the trigger.
I suck so much, I wish i could just end it all. My life is just a string of disappointments and failures.
i fail at life. a lot of fails
i fu*king hate my life. im terrible at photoshop and everyone laughs at me like im a dumbas*. i wanna die
19years doing matric South AfricaI never did anything best,excelent, perfect meaning 100% and feel proud of my self. I guess i dont belive more to my self. Then again nobody is perfect. U know i'm trying/doing my best but is not enough. People sorrounding me its like they don't see what i see #school_teachers, friends my parents whole community.. I believe that i'm different i'm not like you, you,you i'm me why can't i be given a chance to do things ma way.. i dont get it i dont life i'm just triying to find a purpose to this life me living...
Time will tell guys dont worry. Good things will come dont be in a hurry for when they come they will flow overwhelmingly in a flurry.Sadness can take over our lives as we know it To the point where it gets hard to control itFinally we will understand,That under our God's wonder and joy we are cleansed under an eternal faucet
I am in college. 21 years old. Male. My face always looks fat while my body is muscular. But you don't walk around with no clothes on do you? So I constantly get rejected by girls who choose guys with better looking faces who are in worse shape than me. My GPA in college is 2.3. After 3.5 semesters. Not bad enough to fail out, but low enough to raise eyebrows. I have no friends. I have not gone to any social events to talk to people that were not mandatory. I actually failed out of my college and got readmitted. I watch loads of porn and masturbate because it has become an addiction after seeing porn at the age of 8 for the first time. So 13 years of porn, 9 years of excessive masturbation. I always have a sad look on my face because my face is always fat. I have had sex a total of 3 times. I have not had an official job yet. I am one week away from actually failing out of school, when I should be graduating. I am taking the same course for the fourth time and im still failing because i never go to class. I dont go to class because id rather play video games then walk around getting rejected by people and excluded from circles.
And to true failure, I have been to the darkest parts of hell in the mind.... Don't condemn people for where they are on their journey, everyone is in a different spot you know. Ten years ago, I had not been to the darkest parts, and 15 i was in heaven if you were to ask......
All I can say is that although this is not what you want to hear, you all have to dig deep, deep down inside and ask yourself who (not what) you want to be. You have to figure out the purpose you want to fulfill in life, not the purpose god gives you. You must understand the difference between the two.
It feels like I am trying so hard at life ,and have everything going for me ,but I feel like a failure. I should of been great in life I had wonderful parents ,and grandparents I was spoiled, I am pretty, nice , have a house , a pretty newish car, a husband, 2 kids, a cat , a dog, a supposed to be great job. Everyone believes in me ,and tells me I will go far. Sounds wonderful doesn't it? But I can't seem to succeed in life. I get fired from every job or almost fired before I quit. Usually for very stupid little things. It feels like life is against me. Like the universe hates me ,and I constantly get dealt bad cards ,because it feels like I used up all my luck with the nice family I was born into. My house is falling apart don't have the money or the knowledge to fix it. My kids fight with me a lot ,and yell at me even though I am so nice to them . I try to get onto them and they tell me they love me and they are sorry. But it seems to happen so often. My husband is bi polar and even though he is acting loving now he is soooo moody and angers easily and I constantly have to watch him ,because he has a roving eye and has had multiple affairs that he won't cop to ,but I have heard rumors seen evidence here and there ,but I don't know for sure ,and can't bear too face it ,but I can't afford to live on my own ,and I can't move in with my parents too many pets, don't want to disappoint my sons or my family,and I can't get with someone else ,because I am too awkward in way not good with guys I get too nervous when I think there is a possibility for romance ,and can only date really good friends or at least I did before I got married. My parents and sister shelled out all this money for a career for me ,and I am failing in my career . My deals keep falling thru. My money is fast running out ,and my husband has so much child support he barely contributes anything and he gets fired from jobs a lot ,and he only works fast food currently. I am supposed to hold the family together ,but I am just so tired of pretending everything is fine I would kill myself ,because I don't feel there is any hope ,but I don't want to hurt my sons or my parents, or sister. I just wish things would get better I keep telling myself they will ,but I really think it is hopeless and my future is doomed . I feel like I will have to work till I die ,bouncing from one job to the next. I just wish I wasn't such a screw up ,and everyone depends on me. I wish in a way so many people didn't love me and support me cheering for me ,because it hurts knowing that I am just going to let them down whenever I finally come clean about the situation they just threw there money into the wind and I will never amount to anything no matter how nice I am, how pretty I am, or how much I try . I will always be a mess. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't have mental illness, a gambling problem, or really any vices, I go to church , I am nice to everyone ,but the universe still is against me ,and I try hard ,but I feel sooo lazy and useless. I can't loose weight kept the same baby weight on since baby was born 10 years ago , have trouble keeping my house and car clean ,but I try, very disorganized ,but I try, I just feel fat, lazy, sad, anxious, and aging ,but I have no real problems compared to everything out there on the news ,and on this blog. I feel stupid for whining ,but I don't know where else to turn ,or what to do . I am afraid people will see I am a fake when I want to be a real success. I just wish I wasn't me ,and could really be a good person who could do what was needed to take advantage of all these blessings and make things work for her ,but time flies by so quick ,and my head feels fuzzy ,and I feel depressed and panicked ,and the more depressed and panicked I get the more I don't do anything ,besides distract myself. Keep throwing myself out there hope one day it matters and life doesn't disappoint and suck so much. What does the other people have to master life that I don't have why can't I make something of my self and lift my husband and children and myself out of poverty? I wish I were better
I ama life failurebecause I am always sad,friendless, lonely rejected and shunned. People say I am evil when I am not, I hopefor death and to fade in oblivion. I wonder how things ever got to this point. I hate my life, my self and everything I have done because they are all worthless. Dear Lord God, What is my puropse? People say I am evil and Im starring to believe it, if this is a way of punishment, please end it. If I was a bad man in my past life pls end this one because its a vale of sadness. Nothing More.
although I am broke, my life is much better than it use to be nevertheless, I am still a big 4ke up.I don't have a job, people disrespect me and judge me. I suffer from irrational anxiety. I freakout in social gathering and around hot chicks.I am exhausted (for just writing this 3 paragraph). God damn motherKaffule!
I fail in 12 th standard. I pursue course of bca I again fail in 1 year after I pass first year. then second year also fail then I pass second year with atkt of 4 subject now I am in third year but my paper are running now I defenetly fail all subjects I have now 14 subject I pass ithink 4 subject now m so desperate to doing all subject preparation because now my age is 24 I am so crying now because I spend 6 years in my bachelor degree I am confused what to do next plz help me help me
I overthink to much I losed my career
See i believe that none of you are true failures because if you were a true failure then nothing in life would matter but finding the absolute truth to existence to know what you are. but since you are all still complaining you havent come that far yet but trust me you will fail 100 more times and then you will finally ask the only important question "What is I".... im a true failure youre all fakes!
I don't know how many times I came here to complain,or to go over some of your complaints. Some made me feel better about myself,and some made me even more depressed. I have been a failure all my life,and no,that's not an exaggeration. But I realized I was to blame in most of the situations because of my attitude to life in general. It's because I've always been a quitter! Whenever the going got tough lil old felly would bail. I never put the extra effort,and if I did it was just a few times but I still bailed. Be it relationships,school or whatever,I never tried! Which is why I don't have either of them. Did I think it would be easy? That I would just wake up and ride life smoothly? That there wouldn't be any hurdles on the way? That I don't even have to work to get what I want? That things will just fall onto my lap for my taking? Without having to work for it? Really? Life doesn't work that way,if it did,there'd be no beauty to it. There's nothing wrong with complaining,and I'm still gonna come to this site and vent. But question is,what am I gonna do after I fail and complain a million times? Go a few more years hoping something big will happen to me while I'm in my parents' basement? Or get my hind up and do something with my life?
I'm failing plenty of classes in high school and I'm putting on a lot of weight at the same time all while doing nothing to fix either problems. I simply don't care anymore. My motivation went down the drain years ago.
Reading you guys complain about your life makes me fell about mine
Hi. I haven't come here to complain. I just wanted everyone on here to know they aren't alone and if anyone needs someone to talk to, leave a comment and I'll listen. :)
I hate my life. My job sucks. My wife hates to death.
M a student of pharm d m continusely fail my exams. My degree of 5 years become of 7 years. M extremely depress.nd my health is getting down day by day.i want to get out of this degree immediately
I have nothing to live for. I'm 17 and doing my AS levels. education isn't for me and i can't study. none of this shit eneters my brain and my whole family thinks of me as the golden child due to good GCSE results. Either way, my failure is inevitable. My attendance is shit, my grades are shit and i feel shit every single day. I will not get the grades to do the uni course that i only want to do because my family want me to. I have nothing to live for. Each day is a failure and worse than the previous. I wish my mum didn't love me as much as she does or that i didn't owe her so much. That would make suicide simple. I have no idea what i want to do with my life in the slightest. All I want personally is a beautiful wife, children and happiness. I wish I did not have expectations. It is very deeply saddenning to know that I will not be totally happy ever again in my near future. And thus, will my death not be a solution? Am i a mere burden? i want to end my life. I have nowhere to go.
I feel so incompetent in life. I kept on thinking that maybe I just don't try enough to prove myself. But I feel so done. I cannot fathom seeing myself fail and get hurt. I fvcking have too many self issues. And I am so insecure of too many things
I am a shameful failure: a complete waste of my own time, and much more importantly a waste of the time and money of those who foolishly continue to care about me. I have no valid excuse for not being a success; I am (supposedly) rather intelligent, having gotten excellent grades in high school and through most of college. Ultimately, though, I ended up flunking out, for some reason; in the past I've said that it was a result of developing severe problems with depression, but it should be obvious to anyone with a brain that that's a bunch of bullshit because being depressed doesn't absolve you of personal responsibility. Now, years later, I'm trying to go back to school, but so far no university wants anything to do with me. Looks like I've squandered any chances I might have had at educational and career success. I deserve this as punishment. I will go to the dregs of society where I belong, or perhaps I'll just die, which might be for the best.
Anti-depressants is all you need. Don't suffer in silence, meet your doctor. say Doctor Phil sent you.
25 no ged single mom parents doing their own thing no help shitty boyfriend trying to connect with others to get better not crazy but on disability from adhd,depression,bipola1 child hood trauma looking for ged math help if interested please call 216-326-3386 thankyou id appreciate it name alyshia reside Cleveland east side
Fuck everyone that dislikes me or hates me. Fuck you. I am better than you.
Im way past done with failing.I suck, I might as well die.It wont matter to anyone else.Ill just be one distraction out of the way.Bloody arms are red,Attitide is depressed,Life is killer,cause im too 'different' from the rest.
I came here to talk about how shitty my life is. How Im disabled from the military. Have only enough money for rent. Have no memory so I fail university. But then I saw all the people, young people, posting similar things. How they fail at school, have no drive, no goals, think they are ugly, fat, lazy, want to kill the,selves. And it t me. It is not you guys that are shitty or ugly or dumb its the way our systems work. I can explain chemistry on advanced levels but I cant pass a test without notes. Why do I need to memorize every detail when I can just take notes? Why is it bad to work at McDonalds? Its because no one teaches us that there are inbetween areas of life. Its not pass or fail. There is nothing wrong with you people and I vow to spend the rest of my days figuring out how to change the education system so this doesnt happen to anyone else.
I'm 14 years old. My entire life has been screwed since two years ago. I'm failing the 9th grade, I missed every day of the 8th grade and I'm sure I'm not going to make it into the 10th grade. I hate myself, I can't stop procrastinating. I've been told many times I'm extremely mature for my age. I guess I can agree. I feel worthless, I'm now going to an online school, have not one single friend. And spend all day laying and bed doing absolutely nothing except writing in my diary. I've gotten severely bored of everything I used to love doing. I've become paranoid, and afraid of even leaving my home. I feel like I'm wasting my life away and that it's always going to be like this. I've given myself a bad reputation to every school in the district and hate online school. I have no credits and the year is almost over. Motivation isn't existent. I just feel worthless. I don't want to die, but death is the only thing on my mind. I feel like it's the only way to get out of whatever shitty mess I've gotten myself in. I've gained so much weight, but I've stopped eating because I never have an appetite and I just feel so lost and so weak. I can barely get myself out of bed. I barely sleep, or I sleep too much. I can't trust anyone. I just feel so horrible. I didn't think any of this would ever get so bad but I can't even go to the store without being too scared. I just don't know. I've tried therapy but then get too scared of judgement to go, I just feel like no one believes me because of my age.I don't know what to do. Please help
I fail at life, I'm lazy and have no motivation to finish high school, I have no friends, no girlfriend, I'm ugly, have no talents or interests, I just feel like dying in a hole as I am a worthless piece of crap wasting the air that others could be breathing. I'm 16, soon to be 17 but I have no hope that I'll have a good future as I have no drive to do anything. I fear I'll be working at McDonalds as a janitor making minimum wage.
I am 18, I went to college when I left school but eventually dropped out. Then my girlfriend dumped me. This year I tried to go back to college but dropped out quicker than the first time. I have been single now for around one year and hate it, I wouldn't say i'm a bad looking guy I just don't go out much to meet women. I'm extremely lazy and spend most of my time gaming which holds me back from becoming a teacher like I want to be.
Lost my job today im short ugly and 18 male I wanna die. No girls think im attractive and im poor with no intentions of going to college. Idk so much..
I'm 25 still doing my matric feeling like just wasting time because I'm too old ,all my friends they are telling I must just quit and look for a job because by the time I finish I will be too old and I will never find a job ,I want to be a professional nurse.
I failed another class and I'm really depressed about it. It makes me feel worse because the previous times I failed, my family have been so supportive. Yes, they reprimanded me but I'm expecting worse than that. They hardly said any discouraging comments. Now I can't bring it up to them because I'm so ashamed of myself. I really want to die but I can't bring myself to do it. Like, I just wanna get involved in an accident that would give me sudden death. My siblings never failed a class and I feel like I'm the failure in the family. I know I am. Please just let me die. PLEASE.
I'm still in high school, but most of whatever i did was never good enough. I failed so many of my class i sometime feel like I'm hopeless in life,. I know that I have really bad grades, but whenever i try to bring it up, i can only do it for about 2 weeks max!Why am i so bad?!
I just want to painlessly now.But i know i have a few more years of suffering in this genetically inferior(ugly) body.
since i was young i knew i was different. i was in my own world. the things that most kids liked i didnt....i wasnt as good at sports.....i liked science and english. i grew up with dreams as far as the horizon. the last two years of my life have been the worst ever. im not sure while im still here. i want to die. im susida; but dont have the courage to end my own life becasue what lies past this world scares me. I got accepted to the school of my choice only to not pass a class the first semester. i was then suspended.....i was crushed beyond words. i reapplied and was deneid. now through the process i made a mistake...a clerical error that has doomed me again. i have had 3 deaths in the family, personal injury , trouble finding a job, supporting myself, saddled with debt, i have no life. i have forgoted what joy and happy feels like. now that stuff almost hurts. i wish i had a terminal illness, so i could take a pill and sleep. im so tired of failling.im so tired of people telling be im great....beleiving that i am and then having life knock me down. i hate breathing knowing that im here. exisitence hurts. i was baker acted because i wanted t okill myself. now im going down that path again. i cry all the time soemtimes at random. my meds arent working. i dont have health ins and cant afford my key med so im even more unstable. i havent eaten the whole day because i keep gagging. i wish i had the strength to kill myself. i dont. i look at the years to come as only torture. i dont want to see them. maybe this is hell i dont know. perhaps attonment fro past sins. i hope to die soon. just have to pick the right method. we value life...we should value when people want to end it too
If only I did well in school. Ever since I was a child my grade sucks. My parents call me stupid all the time. I ended up in a bad high school, and at now at Community college and even there I did badly. Why am I so stupid?
Is there any guy in here who is suicidal because of any reason other than ugliness?
when i am 25 i lost my love.at 27 i lost my mother.at 30 i lost my buiseness and home.i am fail in my life.i lost everything in my life now.what i do now.
I have everything I need to be happy. My parents try to provide me all the things to keep me happy and motivated. But my past is hell. I have lived through my parents fighting in front of my face and they separated at that time, in kindergarden and school I was bullied, when my mother moved around with us to live with her lovers I was in between their fights as well. It was like she didn't care how the fighting and screaming affected me. A year we lived with one of her lover who had a son and he peat me up almost everyday but not bad enough to spark anyones interest. At some point my mom and dad got into a bad fight mother didn't let me and my brother see dad. So I just made a deal with my brother that he will stay with mom and I go with dad. And so I lived with dad about two years never seeing my mother.Somehow I was happy and confident child at that time. I cried a lot but I never let anything or anybody bother me and my happiness. Anyway me and my mother started talking again but she wanted to go to work in Egypt so even if our relationship was fixed I had little time with her. Me and my dad moved to house again to look after my brother and dog when mom was away. She worked in different countries for three years. When she came back she was changed she was perfect mother. Mom and dad made up and we all live happily together from that on. But I can't say I'm happy. When I got 14 then everything went down hill for me. It was like the past hit me like a train. I was anyway lost all my confidence I ever had and I started to care more about my grades that were really bad. My parents were not happy with me the actually never have been because I'm not smart. At that time I just wanted to hide away from everything I still do. Everything was all of a sudden too much. I started cutting to ease the emotions to punish myself for being so pathetic so dumb so useless. I have always been the quiet one I don't like to speak, I don't know how to speak but being social is needed to succeed. My grades are still bad, I'm worried I don't finish ninth grade and get accepted to high school. I have no talents like really I have tried so many thing and nothing suits me. I try to learn bass guitar but in two years I'm still shitty at it. At least it's one thing I love to do but I hate disappointing my teacher because I can't play. And my father is getting tired of wasting money it if I don't succeed anything. I'm just useless, worthless and weak. And I'm ugly as-well now because of my scars so even doing the lowest job of all would be impossible for me. I could clean other ppl toilets in future but as I said I'm weak person I have no fight in me to ever succeed in life. Maybe I should just off myself so nobody has to ever waste their time and money on me and I think I'd be much happier six feet under. Everybody fades away and everybody deals with it so I'm sure the two three friend that I have will go on. I'm sure they will because they are strong and successful, when one negative shadow is gone it definitely would do no harm. Now I just have to find courage to do what I need too do
Life is so so hard. Everyone seems to succeed but me. I worked hard and received fabulous grades and received a graduate degree but still I can't succeed in life. My whole family is well off and I'm the joke of the family. I don't have friends or a boyfriend either. It just all sucks!! It makes me just want to buy an RV and go live in the mountains. Why does everything seem to work out for everyone else and not me?
I'm so sorry for wasting your time hey. I'm so stupid.
I am by far the worst person I know. I really do try my hardest to be a success and make someone proud of me, but I fail at everything I try and have nothing to show for anything I've ever tried. I had so many goals but I haven't achieved anything. I'm completely talentless. I'm so ashamed and angry at who I am but I seriously don't know anyway to change things. The worst part is that as a child I was told that I was quite intelligent, so why I make so many mistakes and why I am no good at anything just confuses me. I was born premature and was lucky to be alive, I had severe asthma, have since developed an inherited heart defect, bipolar disorder, early stages of schizophrenia and unknown yet irreversible nerve damage in my back which causes constant pain. It is clear I am a mistake and shouldn't have been alive, I do believe in a higher power and believe that God is trying to tell me I am not meant to be. I hate two whole world for creating me and am angry at everything lucky enough to achieve just one thing in their life since I've achieved nothing. I have a pet dog who is the only thing worth anything to me and if I didn't have her I would have killed myself so that I can finally achieve one good thing and done the world a favor. I'm sorry for being alive, I just don't trust anyone to care for my dog but I promise that one day I will finally end my worthless useless life and can stop hurting and disappointing everyone.
Built my first PC. Grades, Friends, shitty and whatever. But anyways, I enjoy electronics and shit. So, I saved up some money to build a Gaming PC. Built one and setup a triple monitor display. It works amazingly for months and suddenly stops working. No one is able to diagnose the issue. After months of struggling with it and buying some new components, I give up. So, with my Glorious machine dead (I miss her so much), I am forced to play games on a PS3. (Not preferred.) Anyways, I'm gaming on the PS3 and guess what? I turn it on one day and....It's dead. Just like the PC. I feel like I have no reason to be awake or alive. I mean I have no social skills and don't care about school. All I would do is enjoy electronics and shit. Now, I have nothing to do anymore. I don't have money for a new computer and I loathe console gaming. Also, I only got a 24 on my ACT and have mediocre grades. I'm a terrible student (lazy) so, I'm not going to college because it'd be a waste of money. I don't know. TBH I built the PC thinking it was something I wanted to do because I thought I was going to kill myself soon.
India - the country where you keep studying like hell, my parents are from middle class family, they taught me in expensive school and gave me tutions of jee mains from expensive institution so that I clear jee mains, they are expecting a good result from me. Today I gave the paper and when I checked my answers and wtf man, I won't even get half of the required marks. And when I told about this to my parents they are so sad, they are now digging up every bad thing that I did in my life like watching porn. I'm so fucked up, feels to die my friends really happy as most of them are qualifying. My mom keeps abusing me now like I'm of very bad mind, I have very bad thinking.
I got straight A's, every university accepted me, I was beautiful, I had everything I needed and I was 17. And within a month I was lost. There was no reason to feel bad but I started asking questions to myself out of the blue. The relationship with my family was never perfect, my mum was sick once, she survived. My dad's not caring much about anything, I knew they were always like this. So there was nothing to worry about, right?I would publish the two novels I've written, I would go to the best University and get a degree, I would have a nice boyfriend, a job, marriage, children, success... But guess what? I couldn't do this. At first I burned the novels and the copies. Then I didn't celebrate my 18th birthday. I argued with my mum, my dad, my sister and all the family members except my uncle's family. So 'family' was done and I moved on to the next topic, 'school'. I told them I would never study law or business or medicine (these universities actually accepted me!!). I chose the next thing that came with the mail, without thinking about it, without realizing I would never want to work in this area. Alright, then I started with 'body'. Scars, gained a lot of weight, dyed my hair thousand times bleached cut a billion times, every time it got shorter. I didn't put on makeup anymore, I didn't style my hair. One thing that actually got better was my style. I was always interested in fashion & design. I went black and white. Well, next was 'hobbies'. I was very talented, really. I could draw sing make music ... I was an artist. I gave up on this. Don't know how many drawings I didn't finish, how many drawings I threw away, how many demos I deleted just after recording them. Next I gave up on lots of people who helped me a lot. I built an castle around myself. Even my best friend who I've known for 14 years now (I'm 20, yeah this shit is going on for 3 years) even she wasn't allowed anymore. Just one person finally got in. Just this person reached my heart. He changed me. I got better. And last week I realized I couldn't love him while he's 'just a friend' so I banned him from my castle. And I'm on my own again. WHAT IS THIS THING DESTROYING ME? WHY CAN'T I STOP!!!!!?
Everyone else is succeeding and we're all failing. I Don't care anymore..
I am so stupid.. I failed to keep every single teachers trust. Even my mom doesnt trust me. I dont trust me.I failed to keep my grades up. I promised to keep good grades to my mom, and im now holding a 1.5.I failed being happy. No one actualy wants to talk to me,they just seem like they do. A razor is my friend.Maybe 'Blue' is better off dead. No, not even maybe. I know Im better off dead. If im dead, no one would have to deal with my bullshit. My family and 'friends' and teachers wont have to have a nucense like me to bother them.Dead Blue is better.
There are times when I think I might be happy. My emotions are really dictated by the kind of music I'm listening to. If I dont listen to music I'm okay but I just think too much. I know what's wrong in my life and I know how I can fix it but I can't do it alone. My mom says I complain too much, and my dad's out of the question, he's never been very good in the fatherhood department. I've never really been too good in school. I know I can do better than I'm doing but I just have no motivation. I need to be in a good enviroment for my brain to do its job but I hate my room. I can fix this but I don't have that kind of money. I feel like nothing will be okay.
I want to be friends with ya all ,, Let peace govern the earth.. No more war. just peace .. I want to make this world equal .. there's no poor nor rich .. just equal status for everybody... isn't it too good to have a world like that?? I want to express more of my feeling but it's hard to put into words .. That's all then hope there's a peaceful future ahead of us...
I wasnt so bad in the thinking I was talented compartment, its just things didnt work out anyway. I only have to see one guy/chick do as good as me and I feel like absolute shit, like im failing my race. I know thats racist, but I just feel like theres not going to be a big win, here, it just looks impossible.ESPECIALLY! even once I beat all the mortals, then I have immortals to deal with, and what if they control my mind, give me my thoughts and I dont have a chance.Im just stuck in a losing situation, they got me by the balls, and theres no way I can win.And then to roll it off all meaningless completely, I have to be crucified, as we all do, and your no different from anyone else, no matter how fancy your tech and art was and I panic every night about my miserable ripping apart.Another thing that pisses me off, that any form of superior art, is just a cheap trick, anyone could do, and I think that knowing how to beat people at things, is not worth anything anyway.But with that said, I cant snap out of wanting to be the best, and its hopeless and illogical completely.Then... I go justify my competitiveness by just knowing im puke if I live a simple animalistic life, of baths, sex and hunting... so then I go off trying to do higher things.I end up, not eating, not wanking every day, shitting every off day, and not bathing, because its so simple I despise it.Also another thing that bugs me, is blunt science -> monkey experiments, thats one thing I never had the want to ever go do to work out ai, like I said im quite confident in my ability, It should be quite possible to make a crazy robot with primitive calculus and I dont need to chop monkeys up to do it.I actually think, everything is a cheap trick, and its not complicated.And that ruins the worth of it for me, to bother competing.But im stuck still wanting to compete for opponent reasons.In my mind, competing is failure... but its unavoidable, violently emotionally... the same as other things youd like to avoid but are just true in this hollow hell.
Hey guys, I just found this website so I thought it would help me vent... Well... I'm a total idiot. The last time I tasted an ounce of success was in 8th grade when I got some President's award and now... 3 years later in my junior year I have a crummy 3.3 GPA (WEIGHTED WTF) and completely nothing going on. I don't even know what to do... I'm a fat lard, I'm shy, I can't talk to anyone because I ... I dont even know why... I have ideas but I can't even communicate them and therefore I have no capability to be a leader. I'm lazy and I'm 95% sure I have ADD, I can't even pay attention in class. My class starts applying for colleges this coming November. All these people around me are such geniuses or have some sort of talent. Me? I play COD or sleep or eat. Why? Because everything I've tried to do these past few years, I haven't been any good at them. Colleges will laugh at my applications.
Ever since 7th grade things have taken a tumble for me. From bullying to unacceptable grades, I've never had it the easy way. I'm surronded by students who are honors and get completely straight A's and I don't understand how they do it. I study, I do my homework, I pay attention, I ask questions (if the teacher is happy to answer). I just don't understand. I just go to a school where all they care about is the letter grade, no understanding the concept and everyone seems to do well except me. I've been begging to move schools, but it's never going to happen. I'm trapped.
Im sorry. Im sorry for causing trouble. Im sorry for taking everyones stuff. Im sorry for loosing it afterwards. Sorry for making you spend money on me. Im sorry you have to read this. Im sorry I fail. Im sorry I have bad grades. Im sorry I cant help you. Im sorry Im here. Ill fix this problem by going away forever,ok?
I am not joking here. I am not even close to try to make a joke about.Simply put: I'm at lost of how I could be able to emphasize the feeling right now. I got the latest rejection even within 2 hours after phone interview this afternoon, saying crap like We choose a more suite candidate than you....blah blah blah.To be blunt: I graduated as a network/system admin guy, at excellent level, no less. I had been working for one tech-based service company and another non-tech in the last 2 years, right after I left the school. My record isn't all that awesome, compare to my friends at least, but it has its shares of good points. So what are all those HR recruiters looking for? I was only laid off last December because of financial issues, that, I could guarantee with my head. I keep on applying over and over again, yet even with many jobs totally fit with my record, what did I get? The nonsense again and again We choose more suitable person than you ....or We think your record didn't fit with the position..... yadayadayadayada.....Conclusion: Right now I am feel worthless, unbearable worthless, 200% feel like I am a leech who suck the blood out of my family. I don't know what exactly how to describe the feeling, as I'm not too much of a talkative guy. I try not be depress, but it took its tone day by day. My family is worthless, with all their nonsense about working at own business..... My colleagues, well, not helping much, can't blame them.I just can't take it anymore......I had never had a history of suicidal thoughts before but now I am starting to feel suicidal. Every morning waking up, I am in misery with this obsession of ending my miserably worthless self. God, if there is such an entity called God, what did I ask for? I just want to work in IT-related fields, not only because of the money, but also because I love the career I choose, and want to make the best of it. I don't mind all the hard works, as long as I could be at least feel useful as a system admin, not just sitting here, bickering. Is that such an enormous wish? Is that a hard wish? I know I have done things bad in the past, but it's not like I am a serial killer to be punished like this.Can't take it anymore. Maybe I just take a bunch of pills this weekend & be done with it.
I failed school because I had really bad anxiety, also that stopped me from going to any social events in school. It's been half a year since I've finished school and I'm doing nothing with my life apart from sleeping 18 hours a day and playing computer games. I have no friends and no idea what I wan't to do with my life - seriously considering hanging myself.
My parents have high expectations and its making me so anxious. It's my fault I'm failing, they shouldn't be yelling and me for it. I have so many things to worry about already. They're trying to make me a perfect image of what they want their daughter to be, but I have my own way of doing things and I can never be perfect. I do try but I fail every time. I'm so sick of life. I don't ever do any drugs or smoke. I'm a nice person, but my parents are still ungrateful. Other parents would be thankful to have me. I know my parents care about me, but its coming to a point where I feel humiliated and horrible when they tell me my mistakes. They guilt trip me. And my friends? They hardly talk to me anymore. I'm awkward around everyone now. Before I used to be comfortable around my friends but now I feel like I'm burdening them by being on their presence. I wish this misery would end.
There's this emptiness I can't seem to fill with anything. I tried working extra hard to keep myself busy. The emptiness is still there. I try to fill it with shopping, sex, food, anything to distract me, but it's always there. I feel like I let my happiness pass me by last year, and I can't go back to pick it up. I just wish I could disappear and not be around anymore. I've just graduated and job search isn't going well. I see my classmates getting jobs and I am still stuck. I am tired of being constantly criticized by my family, while I can't get a job and move away from them. I find myself entertaining the idea o suicide, but I can't decide on the method. I just feel like there is no hope for me, that I'll stay a failure forever.
Im a complete loser, i'm married to a woman who cheated on me within 6 months of being married. I have started my own shitty business and it's only resulted in getting myself in debt, while all around me people have started and succeeded in business. I don't drive, have no money, no respect from anyone and feel like i am running out of time to make a successful life. but most of all my life has no meaning, no matter how hard i try to make things better, i fail at every step.
I need to tell my sister something really important,but im too scared. I need to tell her that I cut. But imma coward,so.. Well,theres my shit.
My boyfriend of 11 years dumped me on Thurs:(
hi, everyone i'm worthless guy and a complete failure man on this planet...i am good at nothing, people make fun of me nobody even care about me. I don't have much friend because i am so dumb and retarded, cowardice, pathetic and boring guy. i hate myself and sometime i confuse why i was born? Sorry about my bad English, i just don't how to write correct sentences.
And when we think we reached the bottom and it's impossible for things to get worse... things DO get worse
I am so afraid of failing...I tried to take my life by overdosing an now I'm in foster care but seriously all I want to do is go home...I feel like I have no one an my foster mom is a bitch..I feel like I'm failing at life...I wish I would have died that night.
And this can't last, as nothing ever lastsIn a forest of fleshThere is a need to sever myself away from happiness...
Carried through life in squalor
the darkessest days in a mans life are the ones of an absence of willpower to move forward sinking deeper and deeper into a coma of blackembraceing lifes joys and wonders are no longer a privilege
an overbearing mother has caused my life to be ruined along with Asperger syndrome. im 20 and cant do anything becose she is always on my back and im have anxity really badly so i cant work or make friends. im so lonely and depressed and isolated i feel like im losing my mind and going to break any day now. i graduated school when i was 17 and from there i wondered when life would take off but its been almost 4 years now and i havnt been able to do much. im afraid to burn in hell or somthing bad if i take my own life or maybe im already dead and this is my own personal hell idk my mind has been crazy from being alone so long idk what to do. i would drink and stand up to the bitch but im not 21 yet and my friends that do buy me booze are moved on in life with jobs and relationships so i dont see much of them anymore.
Hey, what would you do if i killed myself?
I'm an immortal shapeshifting being whose usual form is a gigantic, disfigured, horrifying eight-legged green monster with black hair that looks like it's made of thousands of humans all jammed together in one crying mess, but who was born as an eight-legged green leech-like creature. I try to disguise my ugliness by taking on a beautiful form, but people just mock me aesthetic sense and my fashion sense – they say my slim frame and smooth, taut muscles are feminine, that my hairstyle looks like a palm-tree, and that my clothes look like something a twelve-year-old schoolgirl from a Victorian household would wear under her clothes. I can't feel and positive emotions, I don't have any friends, my father makes me do terrible things or else he'll drop me into molten metal, I'm unable to take pleasure in anything except schadenfreude and sadism, and to top it all off I'm in love with a guy who thinks I'm the most evil thing ever to walk the earth.
I'm unable to focus on my work, I'm procrastinating all day every day, I don't have a job and I'm running through my student loan because my rent is through the roof, I'm married and worried I won't be able to support my wife, I have a bad case of stress-induced bowel irritation, there is a massive skin problem on the back of my hand. And I can't get over Lelouch's death.
I have done nothing with my life and have nothing going for me. I have no social life, extremely poor grades, only two or three close friends, so much stress, and no future. I am socially awkward when people talk to me. When I sit with my friends and a few other people, they are all talking with each other having a good time and I sit there all quite and barely say anything. But when I do speak up, I get ignored. I just feel like that person who is just there and other people can't really remember if I was there or not. Then I have the stress of school and my grades. I am failing almost all my classes (have been for years) with maybe one class I am not failing in. The stress of constant homework, work, and my own problems and just everything. It drags me down and all I want to do is shut down and not deal with it. I understand that stress is a part of life but some people just can't deal with stress as well as others and I am one of those who just can't seem to deal with it. I know I am pretty smart, not a genius, but I know I am smart. But I feel so stupid. My self confidence and self-esteem and belief in myself are so low that I have decided to say screw it. I loathe myself and feel like a disappointment. I have been stuck in the same spot for years and can't get out. I have tried to but when I do, there is always something bad that happens and drags me back down. It has gotten to the point where I don't enjoy the things I used to, I hide so I don't become a bother to anyone, and spend every waking hour thinking why I can't succeed or do good. I am just a nobody.
I am good at nothing I do. I can not play any sport, I have no hand-eye coordination, I have no strategic ability so puzzles are impossible. I struggle to fit in socially. I can not talk to women, I am getting on 21 and have never had a girlfriend. I'm not rich. Some people think I'm smart but I doubt it greatly. I can make any situation awkward and sometimes I feel like my whole world is falling apart.
My friends wont even talk to me hardly anymore so I literally go to college an sit with them in silence and have no social life apart from working which is the only time I properly have a conversation with someone. I also feel like I am going to be alone forever, I have no boyfriend and I dont feel like I will ever get one because I have no social life. And then I will grow up with no family and probably a shitty job because I am going to fail all my exams and I just completely have no life.
This won't last, nothing ever lasts
I have everything and nothing. I am smart,good looking and have a family that doesn't give a shit about me but at least provides me with enough money necessary for things I need. When people first look at me they think I'm going to be cool. Then they take a closer look and realize I'm an anxious,depressing,nerdy guy with no backbone that is too prideful to be himself. No one likes me, that is a fact. Even people who look like my close friends on the outside will never try to initiate contact with me. The best thing that's happened in my life is smoking weed and I got caught so now I can barely even do that. I am about to fail High School cuz I can't get my depressing ass focused on doing anything but feeling sorry for my self. Wtf is my problem, every time I get close I go back to square one again
I never had much of a chance from the start. Mentally ill, narcissist parent, illness from a young age, hormones gone awry very early. My life has no substance. I don't have close friends and acquaintances, I have people who judge me. My career is tanking. I've been sick for a while now and have been unable to care for my home and it is in need of care. I look around and everyone has family and friends close by and they are all engaged in and loving life. I know that's probably not true, but it certainly appear that way. I wake up every morning in terror. It's just a cortisol thing but it makes my life impossible. I also have extreme fatigue and depression. I want this life to be over. The one thing keeping me from "jumping" is a my cat. I can't bare the idea of her having to survive without me and I can't put her down. But if I didn't have her, I'd have done myself in a long time ago. I try to make a life but my heart is just not in it. I don't see a win in this at all. All I'm doing here is waiting until it's over. I hate my life. There is nothing worse than when your own mind is your worst enemy. My mind constantly betrays me and there is no escape.
so, i have two assessments due tomorrow and i've only done half of the first one and it's 9 pm and i'm tired and i don't know aht to do can someone shoot me pls
Hey owner,close this shythole already you greyhole scumbag ape,this place does no good.
Today was my zoology exam and i studied so hard for it.. i have never studied like this in my entire life. i wrote the paras amd pages line by line and understood them and learnt them 5 times.. but the next day.. the qiestion that were being repeated for 10 years.. changed this time.. and one ques which i had studied so hard for.. i was unable to recall even a single sentence. I used to be a topper and now. Whatever i study m not able to remember it.. i hate it. I have turned into a complete failiure.. its so frustrating and irritating.. i suffocate all the time... i want to commit suicide.. that would be better than living a failed life.. i have seem to lost Intetest in my way of living. I sleep longer than usual bcoZ its like what will i do when i wake up.. afterall am a loser why bother trying.. i worked hard today for the last time.. now nomore.. i really want to cry out loud but i cant bcoz i dont want to show my weak self to this insensitive world.. yeah i endure and endure to the point of bursting and then i explode in tears in washroom.. i cant handle this all by myself.. my friends seem to have complains regarding their lives but trust ne they dont know anything about real suffocation.. i just laugh uncontrollable. In front of my friends and relatives and joke around everytime..... just so that they cant see my true self which is crying for help every second thay save me plz.. no one will ever know about my true self..i also want someone to hold me tight and ask to cry to my heart's content and say its all gonna be alright.. i hate myself for being a loser..thanks for hearing me out.
I wanna die.. I wanna cut.. Im a failer.
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Fuck you all. I've tried being nice and no one ever respects that. I will do something about this. This won't fly.
I win at failing at life. I have been out of work for years, pretending at being an "artist", but let's face it, I've been hiding in a hidey hole of oblivion, ignoring my failure to succeed at anything. I qualify only for one job title: administrative assistant, a job which is just as awful as it is demeaning. I have managed to reach nearly middle life with nothing to show for it. I'm isolated, with no one in my life who will listen to my feelings. not my friends nor my spouse. They all have these ridiculous ideas about what I'm supposed to be able to accomplish and I just don't see what they see. In fact, I see them as naive, even stupid in their overblown advocacy of my skills and talents. I wander through my days and don't remember much. Life has been vignettes of smiles against a background of overwhelming darkness and sorrow. I wish I could end it but I have neither the means nor the courage. And so I wander, lost and ephemeral, all the days of my life. Pathetic.
life kills me all the time. its just me against the world
So the 20 March 2015 solar eclipse caused a fallout bw my friend and me. So sad, I'm all by myself now. Forever alone.
If I could,Id slit my damn throught..
I'm 16, my dad is an alcoholic, my mother is unemployed. My brother is a stoner and my little brother is amazing but gets shit on by life. I'm smart as hell. I build robots and memorize hundreds of digits to pie. But I have F's, I suck at the sports I play, my parents are poor dumbasses, my girlfriend causes more problems and doesn't even like me anymore. I'm getting shit on by life. I don't fuck around and skip school. I try in life. Sure I never do homework... And my drunk father just yells at me. Having no role models and no water or sun to let my flower blossom. I drown my depression in working out at the gym every single second.
I failed an important test today. I failed many things before this important test today, (broke my phone a few days prior, failed a calculus test, failed a quarter of physics class) but this one was different. I studied hard. I studied long. I studied like a champ but I still failed. I never understood why I failed whenever I studied. Everyone around me, comrades and strangers alike, passed with flying colors. I was ashamed. I had this insatiable rage! I was most certainly mad but then I realized I was just sad. I crumbled upon the floor weeping like the worthless sack of failure I knew I was, contemplating on my life’s failures. I always joked that whenever I failed at something I would say, “God’s not on my side.” He most certainly wasn’t on my side for this one! Then I realized, why would he be? In reality, God isn’t on my side. Instead, one has to choose whether or not to accept the Lord into their life. God wasn’t on my side because I wasn’t on his side! This sudden enlightenment calmed me a little. I still feel like a terrible loser but I’ll strive to do better or, at least, move on.Maybe its all just a joke and I should stop trying. I was always with God because I'm a faithful Christian, so I probably failed because I suck. I do suck. Sometimes I don't study, and what happens? I fail. If I do study, guess what happens? You're right, I fail even harder. It's really getting to me, that I suck...I'll fight this battle or try to. I shall not give up, even if I still suck at the end of the day.For everyone out there reading this, don't give up. I don't care how pathetic this sounds but keep moving on. If you don't have friends then do without are make new ones, it isn't hard. Find yourself a hobby like video games or become an enthusiast with movies or automobiles. Study geopolitics, its quite fascinating. All of the aforementioned will do the soul go. I may suck, but that doesn't mean that my life has to suck. And to Hell with failure! I'll gladly accept the new challenge.
I basically suck at everything. Just failed my driver's test and I feel like a piece of shit. Also failing like three classes this semester and am barely attending school. No motivation what so ever. I honestly just want to die.
I'm not particularly a fan of this world. I see so many bright people with the best of intentions go to waste simply because this shallow world around them judges them by their ability to do some stupid test. We should not judge people by their ability to complete a mundane task, but rather by their intentions and character. I am a victim of this. I'm extremely talented and gifted, and for that I am grateful, but the system doesn't see this. They instead judge me based on grades. What are grades anyway? They certainly don't judge people based on their strengths. They are certainly not tailored to the individual needs of a person. I hope the world will change someday, but I know that it won't.
i need to be forgiven from all my sins and i need to be a christian becasue jesus died in the cross for my sin and that he is the only way , i am lost in this world and broken have no where to go i am sick of people making a joke out of me because i am Asian with little eyes but i forgive them i am a good shy person . never got a chance to talk to girls i am 20 years old but i dont have girl friend because i need one , i also need complete healing and to be born again
I don't know what to do anymore. Used to be passing all my classes now I failed 3/4. My motivation has left . It's like a dark cloud. No matter how much I try to make the sun shine. My life just gets pouring rain. I have nobody. My mom is extremely critical and unhappy with me . I even got withdrawn from school to try to get a new start with my grades. I'm hoping it doesn't come crumbling down. I already failed everyone. I've gotta at least pull things together for myself.
I feel so insecure and I can't handle criticism. Always crying when nobody's watching. I should make myself usefull, write my reports and papers, but instead i'm just whining about how weak I am.
dont kill yourself, lisent to vapor wave
Well, today I found out that I would not be attending my dream college at UNCW. I am a freshman at UNCP and I dont like it here at all. All my friends are simply living life as happy as can be. Im just here, like Im not even here for a reason. Im a waste of space. Lately, everything has been downhill for me. I cant pass a test to save my life, I feel like my parents dont care even thought they do. I always try to make my parents happy in whatever I do but I dont think I can do that any more. I am currently in the library trying to study but Idk for what. Im typing this because I have no one I can talk to. On top of this one of my good friends took his life last week....Its just nothing NEVER goes right for some people, you know? and I think I have entered that category.
When I was younger I was the top student at my school, got the highest grades, most of the trophies etc.. When I went to high school my grades didn't stand out as much but they were good- As, Bs, the occasional C. But when I came to college... Everything just went downhill.. Failing grades began to be the norm.. At one point I just stopped caring. I had no motivation to do anything.. it's not that I don't understand the work, I just.. I don't know.. For every step forward it's as if I'm pulled 2 steps backward.. I began overeating.. Lol look at me straying. Nobody's gonna read this anyway. And it's more than my grades I just can't bother to get into it. I suck at expressing myself. It's like.. all the thoughts accumulate at a point and cause a blockage, so none of them get through.. or they go through in stupid pieces. I'm always late and if I wake up earlier than usual something comes up to make me late. Always.Always. This was never a problem before. Punctuality was never an issue. Often times I wonder if I'm cursed. Lol I really do. Like what have I ever done in my life to really deserve this.I'm just a screw up. I sit and wonder what's the point of living if I'm just a waste of space. Cause thats exactly what I am. I serve no purpose, I'm not beneficial to anyone so..?I many even consider suicide anymore lol. I'd just be an even bigger burden. I think I was placed in the wrong universe .
People fail to realize that when we die we become psychic ghosts. As soon as you're dead you're a ghost.
I got a girl pregnant that I dated for only a week. After six weeks later of no contact with her, she tells me she's pregnant. Kid is now 9 months.I never wanted kids. I never wanted my life tied to her. She is bi-polar. I now have to be completely sober (not even 1 drink at the bar with friends) or I'm afraid she'll use it against me in the future.She won't let me see my daughter alone; her or her mom need to be around. I can't even take my daughter to see my parents without my daughters mother or grandmother with me. I hate my daughters mother, and I'm a bad dad because I still don't want to be one. Sad thing is that I'm the mature money making person in this situation and she has had issues all her life with this, that, and the other. I hate my life and don't see a point in it anymore. I don't enjoy anything anymore.
Everyone else is succeeding and I failed at life.
I am 43. I live with my partner in a lovely little house in a shitty area. I have a good job, but I am in over my head. People don't get me. I'm awkward and weird I guess. I'm way below average intelligence - thick as shit. I'm fat and ugly. I have no talents at all - there is literally NOTHING that I am good at. Even though my intelligence is low it's getting worse which is a pretty unbelievable situation, but it's happening. My memory is getting worse month by month. I could read an article I find interesting and straight after I read it - I forget most if it.Life is an embarrassment - why did I get such a good job. It's so annoying that I am concencious enough to realise I am crap and worry about it. I wish I was dumb and content to be so. I love my partner but we are really just friends.I just don't see the point. Life is just not great and I see no way out - I hope I don't have a long life but then again I am afraid of death...I suck
Hahahaha my life is such a failure. Poor, ugly, fat, short, no girlfriend, no friends, no talent, no confidence, ugly. It's so funny how life laughs at my face. Like they say, laughing is quite contagious so I'm laughing at myself too. What a funny little ignorant man I am. lol, someone should give me money so I can tattoo "failure" on my forehead.
We are all going to die in the end
Here is my another failure story. Yesterday I failed in GATE 2015. I am sitting idle.I am 35, married and staying with my parent with no job. It seems to me that I have no future at all. My life is in vain. I have no work to do. I am failure. What will happen to my children ? I am from India.I keep on sleeping. I gave many interviews but of no use.
Dear God,Take me home. your child, Blue.If God had a mailbox,that would be there.
Lu lu lu I've got some applesLu lu lu You've got some tooLu lu lu Lets get together, I know what we can do lu lu
Why am i having both suicidal AND homicidal thoughts?!?
Back in school, I was top of the class. Currently I am doing two majors, MSc Computer Science and BSc Psychology, and I have reached the point where I am so burnt out that I either have a nervous breakdown during the exam or simply do not turn up at all. Out of the last five exams I passed only one. I know I am severely depressed but I just don't have the energy to try and find help. I think I'll have to kill myself. I don't see where my life is going. I can't decide on anything. What is the point in doing a double major? I can't imagine what I'll do after that. There's just too much and too many possibly fatal decisions. I can't decide. Whatever I'll do it will be the wrong decision. I know this is depression but I have been depressed for the last 8 years and I don't think I'll ever be normal. I think I am doomed. I can't go back but I can't go on. Whatever I decide to drop now will later turn out to be the thing I should have pursued. Better end everything now. I am such a failure I am so sorry, mum. I love you but I just don't know what to do anymore. I have four more exams coming up and instead of studying I am complaining on the internet but I just can't stop crying. I know that I am doomed. It's when you just *KNOW* something. Some people are born this way, for some people that's all there is in this world and it's hurtful but I have realised I am one of them, I was born defective, there has never been a future for me. I can't imagine being alive at 30. I just can't. I wasn't born for that. I am so sorry but I don't think I can change anything about this. I am so sorry. Sorry.
I hate myself. I cant DO anything productive, like a waste of space. I dont like being in the way of people, it makes me feel bad. Maybe I should just die in adark hole.
I just a failure. I promise my dad I'll go to school but I didn't. 2 days in a row. But he still forgives me...I feel bad. I hate myself I kill self
I just want to die.I had enough being humilliated and rejected because im ugly and i hope everyone will suffer as much as i did.
I failed 4 subjects out of 7, my mom wasalready pissed when i failed 3 what the hell will she do now when she found out i failed 4... god damn it
Someone stole all my gadgets and I have to starve myself for two months to save enough money to buy a new smart phone. I get all my income from my parent who send me money to take care of myself while I attend school. I have panic attacks so I hate attending lectures due to the uncontrollable sweating (embarrassing) , so the exams has been depressing when I am unable to pen a simple answer on my booklet. I am wasting my father's money.
All I do is make complaints on this site. I spend all my life on here. People say they wanna help but they don't. No one wants anything to do with someone as ugly as me. Ugly trash. I am nothing. I am no one. I achieve nothing. I give nothing to this world. I am a slithering worm. Out of the earth I came and to it I shall return. Say goodbye to me. Say farewell to this pathetic low life poor trash. It's sad that I'm like this. I would've never thought. I used to have no connection with people like me. But now I understand. None of my family knows my pain. I hope they never do. It will pain them to see their cheerful child in pain. I cry inside....I'm crying. Help me....
Hi. Basically in school I am bad at every subject. Literally it is as if my own mind/brain is turning against me and making me less smart. I also take awhile to process things and always need a teacher to explain things a second Time. My options (lessons that I get to choose) are coming up and if I stay like this forever I'm going to stay in a low set and I wont be able to get the science job I have always wanted to do. Please help me.
Hi. I am from a small town in India. My board exams are going on and I have math tomorrow. I do not know a thing. I wasted the whole year in a relationship with a guy i know i have no future with just to distract myself. My mum raised me all by herself and alll ive ever done is disappoint her. To top it all off, i think i might be pregnant. me and my boyfriend had sex some days back and now im late on my period. it might be just a common thing in another country but in india..i cant even go to a drug store and buy a preg test. people are going to interrogate like im their 5 year old kid. i know 15 is too young but whats done is done. i am seriously considering committing suicide. im just.. a big fat screw up. Help me. please.
So my mom broke up with dad and im living with dad only because i know why i chose for my dad.i used to be the best at primary school and middle school when i lived together with mom,dad and bro+sis. now that we're seperated of all the problems im sucking bad at school failing my dad works all day+night. i have no control over me and i do what i want instead of making my homework and studying. i always used to do a thing fast before now i do it the last bloody moment.im seriously addicted to the internet now and watch porn a lot while i used to be a nerd before and really respect girls.i feel like giving up but just came here to hear for some hope to cheer me up and make me rise. sorry if my english sucked cuz thats not my 1st language
I seriously suck at math.
I failed all my classes. Every. Single. One. My mother is single and raising my four other siblings, and we barley scrape by. A scholarship was my only chance to make something out of my life. I fucked up so badly, not a single college will ever accept me. Now, just seeing the disappoint in her face is enough to make me want to slit my throat. But I can't, because without my part-time job, they wouldn't be able to pay the rent on our shitty apartment. Great.
So I posted here earlier. I failed out of college because of health issues, and psychological conditions. I got back into community college, and I am now studying to become an RN. It has become a life obsession of mine now to someday get my msn. It's only community college, but I have a 4.0 at the moment for the first time since grade school. I work part time, and go to school full time. I am 26, and live with my mother so at this point in my life I am probably a failure, but I no longer care if I don't finish my RN I am just going to jump off a bridge so it's ok.
LISTEN,IDIOTS.YOU GUYS HAVE WAY BETTER LIVES THAN AN ALMOST 13 YEAR OLD.YOUR PROBLY-ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN ME,AND SMARTER THAN ME.THE ONLY ONE THAT DO ←(forgot how to spell) FAIL IS ME.WAKE-UP CALL: MY GRADE POINT AVRAGE IS 1.2!