At the start every baby gets to walk early, well for me I was a kid already when I learnt how to walk at age three.How about that kid who has dads to teach their son how to be a man, well for me I he was gone for twelve years and once we met it was a fight with him every single day. When a kid turns to be teen and finally joins a sport and be good at it, well for me I join a sport but didn't get to be successfull because there's always a tragedy.The first tragedy, while most are enjoying there time with their family, I was going to the hospital everyday and mourned when my sister's time was over.The second tragedy, while everybody was already picking their colleges, I was still trying to pass the aptitude test for the second time just to graduate.How about while every teen had the first with some girl and finally became a man, I had my first with a prostitute.Now every man got to pick their job they want, me I did't get to because I will to a soldier protecting this every other man.Lastly the one thing that hurts the most is that person that have been there for you since your first sight is sick. Add this all up I guess my should have been You Life's A Fail.
i am so worried about the future right now. Even though I cant see it, I just get thing fear in my mind that all is going to fall out. Reason being I have the capacity to shoot myself in the foot. I did that in the past and so im here. And it wont let me move ahead in life. after all mistakes cannot be erased and difficult to corrct them. sometimes you cant ever correct them. But does that mean I can do nothing in life. just sleep on the couch and type my failure story here all the time. I hope not.
I find no purpose living in this world anymore. Be it in school or at home, there are never ending competitions and comparison going on. They say, adopt a positive mindset, but how is it even possible when you try a million times harder each time defeating the negative thoughts in your own mind and yet still falling into depths of failure? They say, you're not trying hard enough, but it doesn't seem like it at all. I don't know where to continue moving on, it seems like whatever I do I'll always tell myself that I'm such a failure. When I asked my mom on how I should continue with my life out of curiousity, I would receive remarks like "you will not succeed with an attitude like yours", which I somewhat agree, sadly. There are things that I want to do, but my terrible attitude is always restricting me, making me think that halfway through or even at the start I'll definitely fall out and quit something due to my negative attitude. I just don't know. It's definitely hard to survive with an attitude like mine.